Sometimes, couples with years of relationship break up when one of the members proposes marriage. This can occur for various reasons, one of them being gamophobia. In Psychology-Online we explain What is fear of marriage, what causes it and how you can overcome it.
What is the fear of marriage called?
He fear of marriagealso know as gamophobiais the irrational fear that one of the members of the couple has of formalizing the relationship through marriage.
In general, phobias appear before adulthood, however, this usually occurs then for obvious reasons. It can be triggered by an event that has impacted the subject, such as a divorce. Likewise, it is possible that the gamophobe grew up in a home with one of the parents absent or that he or she did not grow up in a family with married parents.
Why am I afraid of marriage?
The causes of gamophobia or fear of getting married can be very diverse. Among the most frequent are:
- having lived a traumatic experience either in the first person or through a close person who has experienced a divorce with very negative consequences.
- Refusing to assume an adult role It can also be a cause of fear of marriage. Sometimes rejection can be determined by the erroneous belief that youth ends when one gets married.
- Associate marriage with responsibilities, children and monotony. The gamophobe may be terrified of the idea of being a father or mother and of assuming responsibilities for which he is not prepared. If you feel identified, you may be interested in the following article about .
How do you know if you are gamophobic or just don’t want to commit?
If you are not sure if the real reason for your partner’s rejection of marriage is gamophobia, you can check if he or she has symptoms. As with any disorder, not everyone presents the same symptoms or to the same extent, but these signs could indicate the presence of the phobia:
- He avoids having conversations related to marriage and if someone brings up the subject he seems nervous.
- As in other phobias, exposure to the feared object or situation generates anxiety: sweating, tremors, rapid heart rate, feeling of suffocationetc.
- You may have suffered a panic attack.
- You may have escaped from a situation or conversation related to marriage (flight response).
How to overcome fear of marriage
Gamophobia can affect the development of the life of those who suffer from it in that it can affect their partner, break their romantic relationships or prevent them from starting a family.
For overcome marriage phobia or gamophobia, the method with the best and longest lasting results is .
The first step would be to receive information about the phobia you suffer from, in this case gamophobia, to better understand the problem and be able to work on it. In the following article you will find more information about .
Next, the professional will help you identify a series of causative thoughts that we want to avoid. Once identified, he will train the change of thoughts limiting ones with more realistic and adaptive ones. Finally behavioral intervention will come into play. The most appropriate in cases of phobias, for reduce anxiety symptoms associates, will be the .
In addition to psychological treatment, these recommendations may be helpful:
- Talk to your partner about the problem When it is identified, it can favor its resolution. The partner of a gamophobe may believe that he or she is the cause of the rejection of marriage, but by understanding the disorder they will discover the real cause and that will facilitate treatment.
- Chat with married couples about the advantages of marriage. Make a list of pros and cons to decide in an objective way and not guided by the phobia.
- Identify the differences between being married or not. Perhaps checking that there are not so many differences will help.
- Finally, understand that Marriage is not a decision without return, can make the decision easier. Perhaps in other times it was an unbreakable commitment, but today and in our society there is no obligation for couples to stay together if they do not decide freely.
What to do if your partner is afraid of marriage
It may be the case that you are ready to take another step in the relationship, but your partner is afraid of getting married, what to do then?
Marriage is not an essential condition to continue being a couple with one. But you may be very excited about the celebration of the sacrament or the civil union, you may have dreamed of getting married since you were little or you may want to do it because it means something special to you.
If your partner suffers from gamophobia, his rejection of marriage is not a free decision, but one made based on an irrational fear. That’s why it’s so important. treat phobia with a professional. Once overcome, your partner will be able to decide freely. He may change his mind or continue rejecting the marriage, but it will be consciously and based on that you can work to reach an agreement that satisfies both of you, even if it is not one hundred percent. Remember that in agreements you have to give to receive, give in to achieve.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Buela-Casal, G. Sierra, JC (2009). Manual of psychological evaluation and treatments. Madrid: New Library.