Experiencing a breakup is usually a moment of great pain in a person’s life. After the breakup, grief is the process we experience and it does not always have to do with depression.
A love breakup is an experience that, due to different circumstances, can be very painful, even traumatic. When a relationship comes to an end, we usually have deep feelings of sadness, doubts, discouragement from doing things we previously enjoyed doing, desire to isolate ourselves, uncertainty, among other. All of these emotions and behaviors are frequently associated with the mood disorder we call “depression.” However, There is no diagnostic classification that allows us to speak of “breakup depression”Perhaps this is because many symptoms of depression are shared with the experience faced by a person who has experienced a breakup, that is, with “grief.”
Grief, and not major depression, is what usually occurs after a breakup, as long as the reaction that is considered normal for these cases is not exceeded.
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Depression is not the same as grief (although we think so)
Major depression can be diagnosed by different symptoms, which also occur during grief, such as those listed above, especially when they occur in an abnormal way in relation to the history of the person suffering from the symptoms, or with its permanence. but depression It does not always have to do with a specific painful event, as is the case with grief..
A breakup event entails behaviors and analysis of progress in coping with grief that are different from a case of major depression. And, although a certain poorly crafted breakup event can lead to major depressionwhat happens most frequently is, in general, that it does not We are facing a depression but rather a grieving process.. And we must remember that grief, for the most part, is not a disorder, but a completely normal process. And yet, we must not neglect it.
Stages of grief?
Much has been said about “stages of grief.” But, before addressing them, we must understand, from the outset, that this idea of systematization of an emotional process such as grief is never a straitjacket or a truth given once and for all; rather it has been a tool to try to understand, analyze and describe said emotional process, without this meaning that it must be fulfilled for all of us who have ever suffered a breakup.
That said, the stages that are usually observed after a breakup are the following:
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Denial: which is usually linked to an emotional non-reaction, since the breakup we have just had has not yet been understood as a real situation.
Gonna: which is usually associated with the reaction of frustration in which guilt or anger, towards oneself or towards the other, are also frequent.
Negotiation: where a search for alternatives may appear, considering the well-known: “what would have happened if”.
Depression: because it is the moment of greatest emotional decline, where feelings of sadness, discouragement, fatigue, apathy, lack or excess of sleep, lack or excess of appetite, etc. occur.
Acceptance: Here, the grieving process tends to culminate and, step by step, one comes to accept the form of emotional disengagement and the new reality to face.
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It is worth qualifying, again, that these phases are not law, and are not fulfilled in a necessary and continually progressive way in each of us. Everyone has different understandings of grief. In that sense, there is no such thing as a “relapse,” since “progress” in grief is not necessarily linear.
However, as already mentioned, a poorly prepared grief could lead to some type of authentic depression, which is why it is imperative, when experiencing grief, pay attention to our emotions, attend therapy, inform ourselves about our emotional health and always consider seeking help when we need it.