When you say that someone is your “better half” it sounds very romantic. But, at some point, you are saying that this person completes you; that is to say, that you need it by your side so that you do not miss a part. That is the germ of emotional dependence.
Loving implies accompanying each other, but always understanding that each person is complete before meeting their partner. In any case, it may be that they complement each other: that is, that by adding the qualities of one and the other, they form a good team.
Instead, there are people who feel that they depend on their partner to live. Precisely, when they feel that the other completes them, they fear that they are missing a part if they lose their partner one day. Thus, unhealthy emotional dependency bonds are generated.
The problem is that it is very difficult not to confuse dependency with real love. Therefore, you can be in a relationship of emotional dependency without realizing it.
If you want to make sure you are not in a dependent relationship, these questions can help guide you.
Do you make your partner responsible for your well-being?
Your well-being depends on yourself. Sure, your partner can add or subtract from making you feel good, but they can’t bear all the responsibility.
If you find yourself placing the entire weight of your own happiness on your partner’s shoulders, you may be in an emotionally dependent relationship.
Do you have a real vision of your partner?
The person you decide to accompany you on the path of life will have, whoever they are, virtues and defects. If you have a real love relationship, you will know how to accept the bad parts of the other, and assume them as part of what the other is.
Instead, if you constantly deny each other’s flaws and minimize them, that doesn’t make your love more real. On the contrary, it can be a sign of dependency, because you need to maintain the relationship so much that you don’t want to see things as they are.
Would you rather have a hard time than be alone?
This is one of the keys to emotional dependence. If the possibility of being left without a partner anguishes you, to the level that you would never break a relationship no matter how harmful it may be, you undoubtedly have a relationship of emotional dependency.
Are you often afraid at the thought that your partner may leave you?
No one likes to be abandoned by someone they love. Therefore, it is normal that if you think about a breakup you get sad. But if due to any discussion or relationship problem you panic because you think they may abandon you, you surely have some kind of dependent relationship.
These are some of the keys to distinguish emotional dependence from real love. But the big key question is:
Do you love or need?
If you feel the need to have that person by your side to be happy, and you think there is no other way to be happy, there is no doubt that you are building your relationships around dependency.
You must understand that your happiness is in your hands and in no one else’s. Once you understand that, you will be able to have much happier relationships.
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