The romantic love it has multiple benefits. It produces and releases endorphins, improves our self-esteem, and even increases estrogen levels, making us look better and feel happier. But, in the process of a relationship, with its lights and its shadows, the question may arise:
we are with who should we be? To answer this question, it is essential to start from a process of personal inquiry where we can observe what type of link we have established and to what extent it is sustainable over time. In this article we share 3 tips that can help you build a healthy love with your partner.
What is love?
First of all we have to redefine what we mean when we say “love”, since it is one of those concepts that everyone knows and few understand.
There are many behaviors considered romantic that actually reflect low self-esteem. Love does not understand demands or sacrifices, the acts and behaviors that are done from love arise naturally and coherently. It is not about not thinking about the happiness of the other, it is about doing it without forgetting ourselves. To truly love, it is essential to truly love yourself.
It must be clear that love is not just a feeling, it is a way of living. It is a state in which you free those who will be by your side, in which you relate without expectations or demands. Love is living without attachment, it is accepting oneself unconditionally and understanding the beauty that each being contains.
The moment you love everything around you, you start to love yourself. That being said, what can we do to build a healthy relationship based on the premises of what true love means?
Tips to build a healthy love with your partner
- Pay attention to what makes us fall in love:
We have all lived it. We meet someone and we have a feeling in our stomach, as if we had butterflies, and we say to the friend: “I just fell in love.” The mind needs to put a label on the physical sensation. What we fall in love with and that has no “explanation” is directly related to our . We say we fall in love when we deeply resonate with another person’s information.
We “get together” with that person to develop that aspect that we need. Neverthelessprecisely those aspects that initially make us fall in love may be the ones that we can’t stand later on and we . Talkativeness ends up being judged as verbiage, firmness as coldness, the intellectual ends up being a “know-it-all” and we end up seeing the person whose tenderness attracted us as weak.
This occurs either because we have not fully integrated that facet into ourselves and we judge it, or because we have already integrated it and we consider that we do not need that person to continue on our path. of this does not mean having to leave the, Unlike, we can choose to evolve with it.
We must live paying attention to whether what we think, what we feel and what we do goes in the same direction. The It proposes us to avoid doing things that we do not like because we want to please the other or, what is the same, to avoid starting to do things that we do not like just because we believe that in this way the other will want to be with us. It’s important to keepr , give us permission to continue being ourselves by sharing life next to someone who, in turn, gives themselves permission to continue being .
If at some point we detect that this is not the case, we can ask ourselves: What is a partner for me? Why do we want a partner? To not be alone?So as not to get bored?, To have someone to take care of us?, etc. It is essential to continually question ourselves to detect our own inconsistencies, so we will stop wanting to change the other to focus on our own evolution.
- Living in Unity Consciousness:
If we think that the other person comes to fill our deficiencies, we will continue with them and when we do not have the other we will suffer. On the other hand, if the person next to us , that benefits us because it teaches us something that we have to learn and integrate. So the other person is our blessing and not our misfortune.
when we live from dwe stop living in the projection to start living in the extension. That is, we understand that there are not two, but a unit that complements each other. We are always facing ourselves. In this way we can stop being what we think we are to give ourselves the opportunity to .
When we fall in love, the first thing we usually want is to possess the other and, when we believe that we have it, we begin to fear losing him or her. So, we found ourselves possessive. That is the first sign of the lack of love towards oneself.
True love does not tie anyone, it does not want to possess. It is freer to live with someone in the present moment, without grudges for the past, or fears for the future; but with , for sharing life and helping us get to know ourselves better.
“People who enjoy satisfying and stable relationships are balanced beings. They are not looking for someone to “fill a hole.” They recognize their own worth.”
sue gerhardt
perfect is not easy. Emotional self-management is key to being able to achieve it. Situations such as not getting over a breakup, not finding a partner or not daring to establish a commitment are a reflection of unconscious information that seeks to be understood.
For this reason, from we offer you the , a training with which you will learn different resources to get to know yourself through your relationship situation, improve your emotional well-being and maintain more flexible, healthy and satisfying relationships.
Build a healthy love with your partner.