Talk about others and make judgments it is a common practice. Sometimes we call it giving an opinion, others directly criticizing. A comment or an action that we consider inappropriate is enough for us to express our way of thinking.
In this article, we reflect on the judgments what we do, how we express our way of thinking and how what we say speaks of us, more than of the other.
The integration of polarities allows us to experience another reality, which is not defined by our position and, therefore, free of judgments and guilt.
In this video we reflect on how we react to the opinion of others and also what information our opinions provide about us.
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What is a trial?
According to a judgment is a reasoned opinion that someone forms about a person or a thing. But really, all our judgments are they reasoned? Do we know the other person in depth, what motivates them and what does they really need? And the most important, What am I basing myself on and with what intention am I judging it?
Types of trials
Besides belonging to the Court of Justice (criminal, civil, oral and administrative), we have the value judgmentspresent in our daily life.
When we make an assessment or criticism, we base ourselves on certain criteria, norms or models, as well as on our culture and experience. Therefore, it implies a valuation based on our system of values and beliefs. It is characterized by being subjective and often dichotomousFor example: good – bad.
The negative connotation of judgment
The fact of judging is as old as humanity itself and is present in all cultures. It has always been considered bad, because it harbors a negative connotation: the gossip.
The term malice is related with the action or habit of speaking to the detriment of another person, and point out envy as one of the main causes of this attitude.
“Hate, slander, slander, gossip and joy caused by the evil of others are born from envy.”
Jorge Luis Alcazar del Castillo
The following phrases of ancestral wisdom show us that the act of judging is very old and, at the same time, that reflection on its motivations and consequences is present in all traditions:
“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling a lie; turn away from evil and do good, seek peace and walk after it” (Torah, Tehillim 34,13-15).
“The wise man restrains his tongue, only the fool says what he knows and the consequence is pain and difficulties” (Proverbs 9:14).
Are all judgments bad?
When we ask this question, it arises the judgment paradox: “If I say that judging is bad, I am making a judgment.”
The truth is the act of judging is not harmful or negative in itself. What is important is the intention with which we make a judgment about something or someone.
The problem is that on many occasions and we don’t know why we really do it. And, even if we consider that we should not do it, it is inevitable to think “badly” or judge unconsciously, therefore What positive aspect does judging have?
What is a trial for?
In addition to hurting our judgments can be a very useful tool to and discover where they come from and what they are due to. What do we see in others that we dislike? What do we project of ourselves onto it?
What we see and what we experience is subject to the interpretation of programs carried out by our unconscious. We are not aware that that are expressed at a conscious level.
How to use judgments in a beneficial way
A simple example could be when a child judges another as a “dwarf” for having a height shorter than his, even though it is within the normal range. For what is this? It may be due to a inferiority complex, low self-esteem or desire to be inserted in a group.
Through this judgment, it is possible to inquire to identify the needs of the child. What do you get by judging the other, what lack motivates your action? In this way, we can adjust our interventions and help you strengthen your social and emotional skills.
Similarly, if we watch what we say about others with an innocent mind, we can .
Plato’s Dialogue: The Three Filters
Sometimes we judge for judging, without reflecting on the truthwhich is relative, in the goodness of our action or the need of our judgment.
In the following dialogue, Socrates reveals himself once again as a source of teaching and reminds us the attention we should put into our words.
A young disciple of Socrates arrives at his house and tells him:
– Listen, teacher. A friend of yours was talking about you with malevolence…
– Wait! Socrates interrupts him. Have you already put through the three bars what you are going to tell me?
– The three bars?
– Yes. The first is the truth. Are you sure that what you want to tell me is absolutely true?
– No. I heard him comment to some neighbors.
– At least you will have made him go through the second gate, which is the goodness. Is what you want to tell me good for someone?
– No, not really. Unlike…
– Ah, well! The last grate is the need. Is it necessary to let me know what bothers you so much?
– To tell the truth, no.
– Then -said the wise man smiling- if it is not true, nor good, nor necessary, let us bury it in oblivion.
Bioneuroemotion and judgments
From Bioneuroemotion, it is argued that what we live reflects various aspects of our judgments and that every opinion is based on an interpretation that tells us about our personal history.
It is inevitable to judge, but we can decide what to do: ignore or reject the experience or enter to explore it. Also, before expressing an unsolicited opinion, we can stop for a moment and ask ourselves: It’s true? Is it good for someone? Necessary?
When we stop caring about other people’s lives and become more concerned with our own, we can dedicate ourselves to improving and correcting our defects. Thus we save envy, suffering and grudges. We free ourselves from judgments.
The mind that does not judge is one mind free of guilt, By understanding the situations that generate tension, we free ourselves from the emotions that bind us to the conflict and open our minds towards other perspectives. We integrate all the polarities and we enter the consciousness of unity.
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