Has it ever happened to you that a friend or family member has changed their attitude radically and you don’t know why? Maybe he cared about you before and now he barely talks to you? Did he seem like the nicest person to you and now you can barely stand him? Why does a man or woman suddenly change their attitude?
At we consider that it is important to know the reasons and that is why we explain below. why people change their attitude.
Why do people suddenly change their attitude?
As a general rule, people do not change their attitude, but they have always been that way but for some reasons we have not seen it until that moment. This is usually because we formed the wrong idea about his way of being. Sometimes we let ourselves be carried away by love and other times by wanting them to be the way we want or by the simple fact of wanting to connect.
At other times, that person may actually have been behaving in a specific way seeking to be accepted, avoid something or someone, or meet a need. But sooner or later the true personality emerges and we can observe a change in attitude that dismantles everything we thought we knew about the subject in question.
Therefore the first and most common reason When observing a change in attitude, it means that the person has always been like this and we were the ones who had a biased vision, either because he or she showed us only a part of him or her or because our expectations and desires made us see a distorted reality. . Although this is normal, there are changes in attitude that are caused by specific reasons. They can be temporary or permanent changes.
Others reasons why people change their attitude are:
- A crisis. After a crucial event such as an accident, a separation, the death of a family member or overcoming a serious illness; Many people change their attitude towards life. This happens because Your priorities and values undergo a modification. Let’s say that this event makes them have a different attitude towards life. In the following article we explain.
- Personal development. When someone is not satisfied with their qualities and wants to be their best version, they begin to make changes in their life. Normally starting with internal changes, attitudes, priorities, self-concept, etc. And ending with changes in their routines and physical changes.
- Disappointment. Constant disappointments often lead to a negative view of life and an attitude consistent with it. here you will find .
- Occurrence of a psychological disorder. Develop a psychological disorder such as or; or a latent one that had not yet appeared, such as or ; They can also cause a change in attitude and affect different areas.
- Substance use. Consuming drugs affects the way people are and act, with the corresponding change in attitude that this entails. On the other hand, a period of abstinence after a continuous period of consumption can cause sadness, anxiety, anger… and a consequent change in attitude.
Why has your attitude changed towards me?
If the change in attitude is not general but you only notice it with their behavior towards you, it may be for one of these reasons:
- Trust. If your relationship is very close (close friends, close family members and even a partner), it may be that other issues are affecting them but due to friction and trust they make you the victims of their frustration. The closest people are the ones who best perceive changes in someone’s behavior or attitude.
- Change of interests. Another reason that usually appears and that is not a dish of good taste, is that you are no longer useful to that person. Maybe the relationship worked well when he wanted something from you and that has changed. Producing a distancing and a change in the relationship.
- Change of feelings. If the person who has changed their attitude is your partner, it is possible that their feelings have changed and this is manifested in a change in behavior towards you. It may also be that something has made you angry or disappointed and is keeping it hidden. In that case, we recommend you read this article about .
- Conflicts. Comments from third parties about you or unclarified misunderstandings continually appear as reasons for a change of attitude.
They could be single reasons or a combination of them, but the fact is that until we understand it we feel bewildered about it.
How to act when faced with a change in attitude
If the relationship with that person matters to you, it is best to put your pride aside and talk about what has changed in him or her compared to you. The reason may have a solution. The main tips to keep in mind to act when faced with a change in attitude:
- Empathy. Try to put yourself in their place to understand the change in attitude, empathize and try to understand the reasons for their behavior.
- Assertiveness. Whether your relationship improves or not, if his attitude is affecting you, let him know assertively. Explain how you feel about it calmly and respectfully. The relationship may not be the same again, but you will feel calmer. Speak from what you believe, think and feel, without attacking the other person.
- Let go, don’t hold on. When none of the above works or you really prefer to keep that person in their new place or even out of your life, simply let it be and walk away. Sometimes certain relationships become harmful to us and it is better not to insist on waiting for the waters to return to normal because it does not always happen.
Here you can see in more detail.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Castanyer, O. (2003). Assertiveness: expression of healthy self-esteem. Bilbao: Desclée de Brouwer
- Sinay, S. (2006). The art of living as a couple. Barcelona: RBA