Ending a relationship is never easy, much less if it is the other person who ends it. Therefore, we often try to continue maintaining contact with the other person, however, these efforts are often frustrated when the ex deliberately ignores us.
That is when a feeling of emptiness and anger is created because we cannot understand how a person with whom we had a strong bond can go from loving us to completely ignoring us. In Psychology-Online we will try to explain in the best possible way why your ex ignores you and what you can do about.
But, before starting, we must bear in mind that the reasons can be very diverse, based on whether it was us who ended the relationship or it was the other person.
Why does my ex ignore me?
If the other person has been in charge of ending your romantic relationship, it is very likely that the fact of keeping their distance and ignoring you may occur as a result of the different feelings they may be experiencing. The most likely reasons why your ex ignores you are:
1. The person still has feelings for you
Many times couples do not end the relationship due to lack of love, but because they see in the other person attitudes and behaviors with which they do not feel comfortable, so, before continuing to suffer and be uncomfortable, they decide to end it. . So, if this is the case, your ex might try to keep his distance so that he can forget about you completely.
2. Just play with you
In our society there are many people with manipulative personalities, who only want to feel deep admiration and dependence from others. When these people end a relationship, their only intention is to see how far you are capable of going to get it back.
Therefore, if at any point in your relationship you have thought or felt that you were dating , simply ignore it too.
3. You need more time
Understanding the causes of a breakup can be a painful process. This point is more oriented in cases in which it was you who ended the relationship.
Usually, couples who break up try to end the other person peacefully, trying to continue maintaining a good relationship. However, despite ending this amicably, there are times when exes need more time to process why you broke up with them. This does not mean that he is going to ignore you for the rest of his life, it simply means that he needs to understand why your relationship ended.
4. He’s already over the breakup
This can be said to be the situation in which no one wants to find ourselves since, unconsciously, it is a hard blow to our pride. Since assuming that someone has stopped loving us can be difficult. Especially when our self-esteem is not totally solid and stable. If it really makes you feel very bad that your ex-partner has gotten over you, it is because you base your love for yourself on whether or not others love you.
These cases are easy to identify because we usually realize it at the moment when we try to get our ex-partner back and he openly refuses to come back, emphatically stating that he no longer feels anything and that he has surpassed us.
My ex reads my messages but doesn’t answer me
New technologies have taken breakups to a new level of dependency since, previously, when you broke up with the other person, it was more difficult to maintain contact.
However, now, thanks to instant messaging we can try to continue being in contact with her through messages, audios, calls, etc. But, that attempt at contact is not always reciprocated, right?
There are times in which messages are sent which are read by the recipient, but without any response and this creates in us a feeling of pain and abandonment. But before making hasty conclusions about the reasons why the message is ignored, multiple possibilities must be taken into account:
1. You are no longer a priority in his life
It must be understood that once the relationship is over, your ex-partner has no commitment or obligation to you, so they can talk to you or not. If he doesn’t answer you, it’s because you’re probably no longer a priority person in his life.
2. You are meeting someone else or are already in another relationship
At this point we must understand that if the other person is starting a relationship with a third party or is already in another romantic relationship, it is very common for them to avoid any contact with their ex-partner.
3. Your ex-partner is resigned, angry or upset
Being terminated is always painful and a hard blow for us, so we have to understand that if we have broken up with a person, they may be hurt by our decision. So, when you see a message from us, the first thing you think about is deleting it and ignoring us in this way. return the damage that we have caused him by leaving him.
4. You want to apply contact 0 to turn the page
It is common that to avoid falling back into a relationship that they do not want to continue, they decide to avoid and ignore their ex-partner at all costs, including their messages and attempts to get in touch.
My ex ignores me but doesn’t block me, why?
Again, the reasons why people act this way can be very diverse and are often related to their personality.
Let’s take the case of a manipulative and narcissistic person, who has ended a relationship or has been broken up with. Despite knowing that they are no longer together, They need to feel that the other person has a dependence on them, so they will unconsciously try to remain present in their lives. And what better way to do it than by offering them the opportunity to contact them whenever their ex-partner wants?
People who still have feelings for their ex-partner also act this way, so even if the relationship has ended They cannot completely end a contact or possibility of contact. So even if they don’t respond to messages their exes send them, they know they can contact them at any time.
My ex ignores me and it hurts me
It is normal to feel damaged and frustrated when we try to maintain or create contact with a person and our attempts to do so are completely ignored by the other person.
As we have been saying throughout the article, when a relationship ends, the feelings towards the other person do not completely end, so if we find ourselves ignored by them, what could be called a double penalty is created.
This double penalty is formed by the feelings of abandonment and indifference. And although it is possible that the relationship has been ended by us, that does not mean that we cannot feel abandoned when we have the feeling of being ignored.
Therefore, you must know that it is completely normal and understandable to feel hurt when we see ourselves ignored by the other person.
What to do when my ex ignores me
You will have heard a thousand pieces of advice about what to do if your ex moves on from you. However, how you want to act in this situation depends only on you.
We leave you some questions and situations that can help you reflect:
- What phase of the breakup are you in? If you have just broken up, it is highly recommended to keep a certain distance from the other person. If, on the other hand, some time has passed, things change.
- Have you tried to contact him or her? We cannot regret that the other person ignores us if we have not tried to initiate contact with them either. Now, if this contact attempt has been made but has been ignored, it may be due to one of the reasons previously stated.
After analyzing your own situation and that of your ex-partner, you will surely see that it is understandable that your ex-partner does not want to have contact and therefore you must give him his space. You also have to turn the page and .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why does my ex ignore me and what do I do?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- García, FE, & Ilabaca Martínez, D. (2013). Couple breakup, coping, and psychological well-being in young adults. Ajayu Scientific Dissemination Body of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 11(2), 42-60.
- García Palza, DF (2014). Narration of grief in a love breakup. Ajayu Scientific Dissemination Body of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 12(2), 288-307.
- Peña Rubio, DC, & Castaño Valencia, MC (2018). Coping styles and grieving process in the face of the breakup of a couple in a young adult ex-couple.