According to a study by Marroquí and Cervera (2014) at the University of Granada, 70.6% of young people think that love is blind, just as they have internalized other myths in relation to romantic love. The authors of the study highlight that these beliefs can be a danger to society, since they accept harmful attitudes and behaviors in the couple that can end up leading to violence.
But is it so bad to think or believe that love is blind (among other romantic myths)? If you want to know more about it, keep reading! In this Psychology-Online article, we will explain why is it said that love is blind and we will give you some tips to be able to love without going blind, don’t miss it!
What does it mean that love is blind?
According to the Cervantes Center, the expression “he is blind” refers to not to see defects in the loved one or in what is loved. Although it has always been thought to be a popular saying, it seems that it has been proven that love really blinds us.
Why love is blind
According to Dr. Frances Cohen, on the one hand, when we are in love, the brain creates a tendency to deactivate the alert mechanisms associated with negative feedback of the individual, that is, to those attributes that we consider unpleasant. Therefore, it is much more difficult for us to evaluate people.
On the other hand, falling in love activates hormones of the limbic system that increase the feeling of well-being, causing a feeling of euphoria and pleasure. In this sense, we would say that love blinds us due to its inhibition in valuing the negative attributes of the person.
Consequences of blind love
The consequences of, and in particular, blind love, is that it can become a social issues which can lead to gender or domestic violence. Furthermore, assuming that love is blind places us in a passive position from which we cannot do anything to get out of it because, simply, we are not able to see the exit, nor do we see when we are entering.
This conception of blind love can cause numerous problems. As we mentioned at the beginning of this article, where many may miss some important signs, these could be indicators of violence in the relationship. Therefore, it is important to raise awareness among the population about how to detect these first signs to avoid violence in the couple, among which could be the conception of blind love.
How to love without going blind
Loving without becoming blind seems complicated, since we have seen that in blind love there are brain structures, hormones and neurotransmitters involved. Even so, below, we will give you 7 tips to achieve it:
- Assume that you are not going to be impartial or objective on many occasions: The first step is to accept it. Therefore, it is important that you know and accept that you will not always act impartially or objectively and that you will be “blinded” by love. This will give you some power and help you be more critical of the decisions you make.
- Connect with yourself: It is important that you be your main focus of attention and dedicate quality time to yourself, so that you do not forget who you are.
- Set limits: don’t give in to everything for love. It’s all very well doing something “crazy” for love on occasion, but don’t leave all your beliefs and values off limits. It is important that you are clear about the limit that should not be exceeded. “Love forces us to do things we would never have imagined we would be capable of, for better and for worse.”
- Be aware of your partner’s strengths and weaknesses: Your partner surely has many positive things, but it is implicit in the very definition of a person that he or she will have some defect. Accept them. That doesn’t mean you have to change it, but you do have to accept that it’s there.
- Don’t continue giving of yourself when you feel like you’ve reached your maximum.: That love forces us to do things that in other situations we would not have done can generate a lot of stress, while we can give it EVERYTHING. We must be clear that loving someone does not mean sacrificing everything.
- Consult your closest and trusted environment and listen to them: at some moments in the relationship we may need help and an external, more objective vision to help us with that blindness.
- Remember that you still have a life beyond the couple: Just because you have a partner and have a life together, doesn’t mean you stop having your own life. Think that you are living a movie in which you are your own protagonist, the rest are secondary characters.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Moroccan, M., & Cervera, P. (2014). Internalization of false myths of romantic love in young people. Reidocrea. twenty(3), 142-146
- Pérez, VAF, Fiol, EB, Guzmán, CN, Palmer, MCR, & Buades, EG (2008). The concept of love in Spain. Psychothema, 20(4), 589-595.
- Univision (December 3, 2013). Why does science say that love is blind?