The researcher believes that sexual impulse is the biological component of desire, which is reflected as a spontaneous sexual interest that includes sexual thoughts, erotic fantasies and dreams (Simon et al., 2019).
While men generally are physiologically aroused more easily than women, low sexual desire also occurs in men (Davies, Katz, & Jackson, 1999) (Brotto, 2010). Low sexual desire is not limited to gender, sexual orientation, race, or any other demographic group (Mark & Murray, 2012). Nonbinary people may also struggle with decreased sexual desire. Reduced sexual desire can cause strain in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
Decreased sexual desire in women
If you want to have sex less frequently than your partner, this doesn’t necessarily mean that either of you’s desire levels are exceptional for people at your stage of life, although your preference differences in frequency may cause relationship problems. . At the same time, even if your sex drive is weaker than before, your relationship may be stronger than ever. There is no magic frequency that defines low sexual desire. It varies from person to person (“Low sex drive in women – Symptoms and causes”, 2018).
Symptoms of low sexual desire in women
- Have no interest in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation.
- Never, or only rarely, have sexual fantasies or thoughts.
- Being worried about your lack of sexual activity or fantasies.
Causes of reduced sexual desire in women
Sexual desire is complex, as it is multifaceted and based on the interaction of several factors that affect intimacy, including physical and emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, and current relationship status. Experiencing problems in any of these areas can affect your desire for sexual intimacy. The following are three common causes of low sexual desire in women.
1. Physical causes
A wide range of diseases, physical changes, and medications can cause low sexual desire, including:
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- Certain prescription medications, especially the category of antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), decrease sexual desire. (It is noted that some relatively newer medications do not have this side effect, or at least have it to a lesser extent.)
- Lifestyle habits. Being chronically sleep deprived crushes sexual desire. Exhaustion from caring for young children or elderly parents are frequent culprits of such fatigue. Fatigue from illness or surgery can also play a role in low sexual desire. And while a glass of wine can relax you and get you in the mood, too much alcohol can negatively affect your sex drive. The same is true for other recreational drugs.
- Health problems. Changes in your hormone levels can alter your sexual desire. This can occur during menopause as estrogen levels decrease potentially causing dry vaginal tissue and painful or uncomfortable intercourse. Although many women still have satisfying sex during menopause and beyond, some experience a lagging libido during this hormonal change. Hormonal changes during pregnancy, right after having a baby, and while breastfeeding can also affect sexual desire. Many nonsexual diseases can also affect sexual desire, including arthritis, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, and neurological disorders.
- Sexual discomfort. Feeling pain during sex or not being able to orgasm can reduce your sex drive.
2. Internal emotional causes
Work stress and/or family pressures can eliminate sexual desire. In a culture that encourages having a “perfect” body, negative perceptions resulting from feeling defective or physically inadequate can also crush desire. The same goes for those who struggle with post-traumatic stress, anxiety or depression. Anger and resentment are other strong emotions that decrease sexual desire.
3. Relationship problems
It’s difficult to feel intimately connected when you feel emotionally disconnected due to a dysfunctional pattern of interacting with your partner. The communication dynamic between you can generate tensions and problems in the relationship. Sexual intimacy often falls victim to relationship struggles, such as unresolved conflicts and fights, trust issues, and poor communication of sexual needs and preferences.
What can you do to increase sexual desire?
A medical checkup to rule out any medical or physical cause that may be influencing is the first step. The solution could involve changing a medication you are taking.
Manage the stress in your life by choosing a healthy lifestyle that includes taking breaks, exercising, finding quiet time, and getting emotional support from those you trust.
Don’t pressure yourself to be more sexual; rather, gently explore within yourself if you are concerned about your low sex drive. If so, talk to a mental health care provider.
Don’t accept a “new normal” of limited or no sexual desire, no matter how long it has been going on. Many couples are able to appreciate sexual reconnection even after long periods of disconnection.
Address any relationship issues with your partner that may be influencing your intimacy and sexual connectivity.
Seek help from a sexual health professional if you and your partner feel unable to explore, communicate and resolve the issues that are happening between you.
Bibliographic references:
Brotto, L.A. (2010). The DSM diagnostic criteria for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder in men. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7(6), 2015-2030. https://doi.org/
Davies, S., Katz, J., & Jackson, J.L. (1999). Sexual desire discrepancies: effects on sexual and relationship satisfaction in heterosexual dating couples. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 28(6), 553-567. https://doi.org/
Low sex drive in women – Symptoms and causes. (2018, February 15). Retrieved October 21, 2019, from Mayo Clinic website:
Mark, K.P., & Murray, S.H. (2012). Gender Differences in Desire Discrepancy as a Predictor of Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction in a College Sample of Heterosexual Romantic Relationships. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, Vol. 38, pp. 198-215. https://doi.org/
Simon, JA, Kingsberg, S.A., Portman, D., Williams, L.A., Krop, J., Jordan, R., … Clayton, A.H. (2019). Long-Term Safety and Efficacy of Bremelanotide for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. Obstetrics and Gynecology. https://doi.org/
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