I have a pretty big problem with my character and I usually pay for it and have constant anger with my partner. Anger is usually caused by absurd and insignificant things, especially related to things that I have in mind and that do not turn out as I expect or when things are not done my way or to my liking. It also happens to me with the issue of order and cleanliness in the house, it seems that I am evaluating everything to see what my partner has left in the way, left dirty, or has not “done.”
This situation constantly gives rise to situations in which things feel bad, I reflect my anger through lack of communication, gestures and behaviors that are perfectly identified by the other party and that I suppose makes people feel bad. I also feel bad, because it is something that I cannot seem to control, I think about it and meditate and I know that it is not right, so I think about it and try when I return home or to see him, to change my attitude and not be so irascible, but normally this is not the case and anything again destabilizes me and makes me feel bad.
My partner doesn’t want to argue, and he usually doesn’t humor me, so we don’t talk about what’s happening, because when he asks me I usually tell him that nothing’s wrong with me, because I know that in those moments of anger, I don’t know how to calmly convey what happens to me, and it translates into hours or even days without speaking to each other.
It is a horrible situation because I love my partner and I feel that he loves me and takes great care of me, that he gives me my space, tries to make things go well. These are situations that are almost always unimportant, but I make a world of them and I know that this is going to end up wearing down the relationship, but it seems uncontrollable on my part, and I don’t want to accept that “I’m like this” thing, because it’s not fair. for him, nor for me.
Is there any advice I can apply to try to improve the situation?
Thank you very much in advance.