Perhaps you cannot mourn the death of a loved one due to an emotional block, because you are in a denial phase or due to biological factors, however, we must keep in mind that each person processes loss differently. Although this is part of a natural process, the truth is that it entails great pain that is expressed in different ways depending on each person.
There are those who put aside their lives due to the intense anguish they feel and which makes them think that it is impossible to move forward. At the other extreme, there are human beings who deny the value that comes with what is lost and try to ignore the situation. In both cases, these are processes that interfere with the activities of daily life, since the natural process of grieving is interrupted. In this Psychology-Online article we explain Why can’t I cry over the death of a loved one?.
Is it bad not to cry over the death of a loved one?
Taking as a point of reference the different responses to the death of a loved one, it is important to mention that the loss can be channeled in various ways. In this sense, crying is one of the most used ways for people to discharge their anguish. The main point to keep in mind lies in have tools to give value to the loss.
In other words, people should express their emotions about what the death of someone close to them means to them. If you do not cry when someone close to you dies, it is possible that the contained emotions are expressed in different ways that could be unfavorable for the person.
Based on this, it can be said that It is bad not to cry as long as value is not given to the moment. However, it is important to keep in mind that each human being has their own times to process a loss.
Why can’t I mourn the death of a loved one?
Not crying over the death of a loved one can be related to different causes. In general terms, there are some defense mechanisms of the mind to avoid coming into contact with the anguish of the situation. We show them to you below:
- emotional block: consists of the lack of understanding about the situation that occurred. In these cases, the person has not become aware of what happened, which results in the absence of crying. Here you will find .
- Denial: It is another of the defense mechanisms that humans use most frequently. In short, it means that the person denies the loss and fails to give it the corresponding value. When this happens, it is common to look for moments of happiness as a distraction.
- Biological factors: Some causes may affect the inability to cry. In these cases it is necessary to carry out medical studies to verify the existence of diseases.
What happens when a person cannot cry for the death of a loved one?
Faced with the difficulty of expressing the pain caused by the absence of a close person through tears, some consequences derived from this condition can be found. In this section, we will talk and show you what happens when a person cannot cry over the death of a loved one:
- Occurrence of diseases: If a record of what happened is not taken in any way, the body expresses it through diseases and bodily alterations that are not explained by medical causes.
- Culpability: The emergence of thoughts associated with the guilt that a person may feel when faced with the death of a loved one is common. Given this, the idea that arises is that something was done wrong and that caused the death. In this way, repetitive and incessant thoughts occur as a form of punishment.
- Difficulties in social relationships: People who do not cry may lack reflection on the situations that happen in everyday life. Furthermore, this leads to serious problems in interpersonal ties since there is a lack of consideration for others.
- Mental disorders: Pathological grief can cause the appearance of serious grief that involves high levels of anxiety, depression, lack of impulse control, among others.
What to do when you feel like crying but you can’t
When you feel like crying but can’t, there are several strategies you can try to manage your emotions. Next, we show you what to do when you feel like crying but you can’t:
- Breath deeply: Taking slow, deep breaths can help you relax and calm your emotions. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale gently through your mouth. Repeat this process several times until you feel yourself calm down. In this article, we propose some that can help you.
- Find a private space: If possible, find a quiet, private place where you can be alone for a few minutes. This will allow you to have a safe space to express your emotions, whether by crying, yelling, or just venting in some way.
- Write your feelings– Sometimes putting your thoughts and emotions on paper can be an effective way to release and process your feelings. Take a notebook or a piece of paper and write down everything you feel at that moment, without judging yourself. Don’t worry about grammar or coherence, just let your words and emotions flow. In this article you will see.
- Talk to someone you trust: Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can be very comforting. Find someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member, and express how you feel. Sometimes just talking about what’s affecting you can ease the emotional weight you’re carrying.
- Find relaxing activities: Doing activities that relax and distract you can help you manage your emotions. This may include listening to soft music, reading a book, taking a walk outside, or practicing relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation.
- Allow yourself to cry later: If you can’t cry right now, give yourself permission to do so later. Set a time when you can be alone and spend time letting your emotions flow. Sometimes holding back our tears in the moment doesn’t mean we can’t cry at another, more appropriate time.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why can’t I cry over the death of a loved one?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Meza Dávalos, E., García, S., Torres Gómez, A., Castillo, L., Sauri Suárez, S., Martínez Silva, B. (2008). The grieving process. A human mechanism for managing emotional losses. Journal of Medical-Surgical Specialties, 13 (1), 28-31.
- Millán-González, R., Solano-Medina, N. (2010). Grief, pathological grief and interpersonal therapy. Colombian Journal of Psychiatry, 39 (2), 375-388.