Surely you have been asked what you are looking for in a partner and you have not known what to answer or you have answered what you have always heard: that he is faithful, loves me and respects me; but what does this mean? Is it really the most necessary thing in a couple?
Harley, WF (1999) shows us the 10 necessary aspects to look for in a couple: affection, sexual fulfillment, conversation, recreational company, honesty and openness, financial security, family commitment, admiration, domestic support and attraction. Communication, or conversation, is what most studies define as an essential attribute to consider in a couple. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to help you learn more about what to look for in a partner and what is needed in a relationship. If you want to know more, keep reading!
Keen
If you are wondering what to look for in a partner, one of the important aspects is affection, a symbol of security, protection, support and approval. We’ll see now different ways to show affection:
- With words.
- Physically with caresses or with details.
- Spending quality time or a gift can also be forms of affection.
- Get along and show love.
- Discuss.
- Share time and ideals.
Showing love, affection and affection is one of the most important areas within the quality of the couple’s bond. If there is a lack of affection, in this article you will find more information about it.
sexual plenitude
Sexual plenitude is a symbol of intimacy in the couple and of distinction between love and friendship, therefore, when looking for a partner it is a very important aspect. Most consider the act of sex to be the most intimate thing you share with someone, along with the most pleasurable. Getting along, feel chemistry and support each other They are strong indicators that the couple maintains close ties.
For the sexual act to become a satisfying situation, It should be more of a transcendent expression of affection, which merely coital. That elevates the experience to higher levels that generate a feeling of fulfillment in those who experience it. In this article, we tell you.
Communication
Communication is the attribute that most studies validate as indispensable in a couple since it is the problem for which psychotherapy is most frequently consulted.
According to a study by Cuervo, JJ (2013), when looking for a partner Assertive, constructive or nurturing communication is key. Therefore, the main characteristic would be the open and spontaneous expression of ideas, disagreements and agreements; which includes positive and negative feelings, preferences or expression of opinions directly, without trying to force the other’s agreement through threats or punishments.
To improve the couple’s relationship, not only communication in this sense is important, but also the topics of conversation, which are fluid and do not cease quickly.
Recreational company
What should you look for in a partner? Having mutual recreational interests is important, that is, finding activities so that you can enjoy together and in which you can both share time. This will make you create happy memories and discover pleasures together, promoting the union of a couple. Discover more important elements about .
Honesty and openness
What is the most important thing in a relationship? There are many authors who talk about the importance of consolidating a bond based on love, respect, sincerity and honesty. To achieve this, many appeal to the importance of transparency in all areasdenying privacy separately, but they also appeal to the need to protect some aspects of our personal life, which does not mean having to lie or hide anything from others.
Harley, WF (1999) tells us: “When honesty and cooperation exist in marriage, you have a couple who is willing to share and build together. They don’t need secrets or to live privately. They also have no desire to lie and obscure the truth to protect their spouse. When you build your marriage on trust, you experience a joyful willingness to share all feelings personal with the person you have chosen as a life partner.”
Attraction
Nowadays, attractiveness goes beyond the physical ideal, wearing neat clothes, properly grooming one’s hair, and maintaining good personal hygiene. One of the qualities you should look for in a partner is that you find them attractive, since this reinforces established ties.
Support
If you are wondering what to look for in a partner, this consideration comes to light the moment you decide to formalize the relationship and that is when it becomes relevant. Later, it becomes a fundamental aspect when it comes to going to live together, as it influences the way in which coexistence is approached. Discover important aspects of .
Commitment
Have you ever wondered what I need in a partner? One of the necessary things is spend time enough for your partner, show interest in the activities you carry out independently, offer quality full attention and show behaviors that enhance the rapprochement between both.
Values
The most important thing in a relationship is the values associated with the characteristics of the couple, both at the time of choice and in maintaining the relationship. These may be diverse, such as a sense of humor, honesty, flexibility or tolerance, but it is important that you share them. In this article you will find a list and examples of .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- American psychiatric association, (2014). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM – 5. Madrid Spain. Pan-American medical publishing house.
- Capafóns, J., Sosa, D., (2015). Relationships and social skills: interpersonal respect. Behavioral Psychology / Behavioral Psychology, 23 (1), 25-34.
- Cuervo, JS, (2013). Viable couples that last over time. Divers.: Perspect. Psychol. 9 (2), 257-270.
- García, M., Romero A., (2012). Maintenance in the couple relationship: construction and validation of two scales. Ibero-American Journal of Diagnosis and Evaluation – e Avaliação Psicológica2 (34), 133-155.
- Harley, W.F., (1999). What he needs, what she needs. USA. Level I Group Inc.
- Santacreu, O., Francés, FJ, (2008). Mixed European Couples in Spain: Integration, satisfaction and future expectations. OBETS Magazine1, 7-20.
- Valdez JL, González, NI, Sánchez, ZP, (2005). Partner choice in Mexican university students. Teaching and Research in Psychology, 10 (2), 355-367