It’s happening to me currently, that’s why I searched on Google and got here.
After more than 20 years, my best friend is abandoning me at the worst time of my life. She always had difficulty making friends because of her shyness. As a young girl she was so shy that she didn’t even respond when asked, it was quite uncomfortable and, perhaps for that reason, others avoided her, both in high school (where she attached herself to me despite her shyness) and later, as an adult, in the jobs. She was always a very lonely girl, despite being eager to make friends. Quite the opposite happened to me, because the less interest she had in people, the more everyone attached themselves to me, something that overwhelmed me. Not because I was antisocial, but because I lacked time for my hobbies.
However, although I always had a partner (I already had one when I met my friend), quite a few friends, an exhausting job, in addition to studying and having to run a house (I have lived alone since I was 18), I always found time to share her, and I tried to integrate it with my friends (although I had objections to all of them). And always, although this is implicit in the word friendship, I was by her side in the bad times (which have not been few since she is depressive).
However, everything changed a few years ago. Due to an illness I ended up losing my job, my partner and also part of my mobility (I am now in a wheelchair). All the friends who used to call on me at all hours began to disappear, which made me see that they were not as friends as they said they were. Now I think that they were probably looking for my friendship because I knew a lot of other people.
You might think that losing almost everything I had made me sullen or complaining and that, perhaps, was why my friend could get tired. But nothing further, despite everything, my optimism and my sense of humor remains the same as always. Well, it continued because now it has started to falter. And all because my friend is totally avoiding me. She knows that I haven’t left my apartment for three years because I don’t have anyone to push the chair, and she only calls me when she needs to vent about her problems. Well, she called me because not even that anymore. She now made a friend at her new job and months go by without calling me and if I call her at her house, she avoids picking up the phone. I also have to say that I put this new friend in a new age group, which totally smells like a sect to me. When I manage to contact her she excuses herself saying that she is very busy, but then she tells me that she has done this or that activity. In addition to the fact that she spends several times a week very close to my home.
The funny thing is that he always talks to me about his desire to make friends and rare is the conversation in which he doesn’t complain about the individualism and selfishness that prevails in society. On top of that, she is always saying how important I am to her and praising me, as if to become her ideal friend, but much ado about nothing, because the facts are what they are. She boasts of being very sensitive and spiritual, however, I am beginning to think that her criticisms describe herself.
I try to think if I have said something that might have offended her, but I can’t find anything. The only thing I do remember saying the last time we spoke, and it seemed to me that it made her feel a little bad because she remained very silent, was that, when she described my situation to me in a compassionate tone, as if expecting me to regret it, I replied that, Within the bad, I felt a certain plenitude. Maybe if she was distressed she should have kept me quiet. But she felt that way to me.
Anyway, sorry for the rant I made, but I needed to vent somehow.
Greetings.