Work relationships are seen as a potential source of stress at a time when they are facing difficulties related to management, employees and colleagues themselves. One variable that helps determine the quality of work is precisely the quantity and quality of social support provided by superiors and colleagues: if this help is available and adequate, it can neutralize some possible stress factors resulting from the combined effect of a heavy task with few possibilities of control; If, on the other hand, social support is scarce or completely absent, or if the social climate in the work environment is characterized by discrimination and harassment, an additional source of stress is added.
In this Psychology-Online article we will talk about interpersonal relationships in the workplace and we will see together how to deal with hypocritical coworkers and envious people at work and, in particular, what to do when your coworkers don’t like you.
Why do my coworkers treat me badly?
With the term bullying It is usually pointed out harassment, assault and harm to one or more workers. Generally, the triggering cause of bullying horizontal – a form that involves people who are at the same hierarchical level – is not so much the incompatibilities within the work environment, but rather a reaction of a majority of the group to the stress of the environment and work activities: the victim use, therefore, as “scapegoat”on whom the blame for disorganization, inefficiencies and failures falls.
The basis of bullying Horizontal is not formal power, but informal power, which includes a series of factors related to individual sensitivity and perception. It’s based on envy, gossip and jealousy, concretely translating into competition, forms of racism, campanilismo, where the marginalization and stigmatization of the victim is sometimes based on aspects such as, for example, the city of origin or accent. Furthermore, sympathy from the boss or recognition from a colleague can activate envy mechanisms at work, perhaps, which can lead to behaviors that eliminate one’s opponent.
Therefore, the two main reasons why there are people who treat their coworkers badly are inability to manage stress through adaptive strategies and self-esteem problems that lead to feeling envy.
How to deal with difficult coworkers
How to deal with hypocritical coworkers and envious people at work? They have been outlined 14 profiles of people who practice psychological violence in the workplace:
- He upstartthe one who seeks every way to make a career without having any qualms about reaping victims along the way.
- He casualwinner of a conflict born by chance who chooses to destroy his opponent completely.
- He cholericwho due to his character cannot control himself and contain his anger and solves his problems by going after others.
- He conformista direct spectator of moral harassment, who, although not directly responsible, does nothing to block it.
- He criticalwhich criticizes without ever proposing solutions.
- He frustratedwho tends to unload their own private problems on others.
- He flattererwho despises his subordinates and acts as a slave to the boss.
- He pusillanimouswho fears the consequences of his actions, so he does not act directly, but generally prefers to help the mobber or stalker.
- He sadisticwho enjoys hurting a person until they destroy them.
- He terrifiedwho, fearing his colleague’s capabilities, wants to take away his duties or replace him to demonstrate himself better.
- He tyrantwho enslaves others with cruel methods.
- He jealous, which tends to eliminate those most capable of it. Envy at work is born from the comparison and fear characteristic of a person.
- He instigatorwho is always looking for new evils.
At some point we all encounter difficult colleagues with whom we have to work, whether we like it or not, and according to the American Jody J. Foster, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, classifying people has an advantage, precisely because People with similar character traits tend to act in similar ways. “If you can understand itif you can – I’m not saying – diagnose, but grasp the common characteristics, you live better“.
What to do if my coworkers ignore me
What to do when your coworkers don’t like you, ignore you or reject you? Everyone may have had, during their working life, conflicts or problems, a situation in which we saw no way out: a boss who dispenses reproaches without listening to reasons, suffering from a joke from colleagues or being ignored by them almost as if we were not there. over there. Not being seen or ignored is an extremely distressing experience for both children and adults, since it is precisely a reflection in the eyes of another that the individual can know himself and his identity. Sometimes it is worse to be ignored than yelled at and punished.
In addition to the emotional pain of rejection, being pushed away, ignored, or vented makes us feel bad, e.g. negatively influencing mood and self-esteem, or making us feel angry and “disconnected” in our sense of belonging. After a rejection, we can become very critical of ourselves, and that is without a doubt the worst damage we can do to ourselves, because it damages us psychologically and emotionally.
Feeling rejected or being rejected are quite common painful experiences, but fortunately there are strategies to avoid falling and quickly regain emotional control. Below we will see how to act when you are ignored at work:
- Avoid criticizing yourself when you are already emotionally ill. Let us avoid making a list of our mistakes and our faults: rather, let us evaluate the facts, what has happened and what we can do differently, better in the future.
- Remember that you have good resources and qualities that you can express to the fullest. We must remind ourselves of what we have to offer, our personal value; we have to support ourselves by using and affirming valuable parts of ourselves. We can start, for example, from a list of the 5 best qualities we have from the point of view of relationships or professional abilities: it is an emotional first aid that makes us regain confidence in ourselves and reduce the level of moral pain. In this article you will find information about.
- Pay attention to those who love you and give them your sincere feelings. As social animals, we need to belong to a group of people who appreciate and recognize us, but if colleagues despise us and, for example, do not eat with us, we can always do it with a friend or other colleagues: for someone who rejects us, There is always someone who appreciates and loves us, making us feel rooted.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Bordone, I. (2016). 10 Lessons of psychology per profani. Bologna: Area 51.
- Ferrari, G., Penati, V. (2011). Mobbing and psychological violence. Phenomenology, prevention, intervention. Milan: Edizioni Ferrari Sinibaldi.
- Foster, J.J., Joy, M. (2014). The Schmuck in My Office: How to Deal Effectively with Difficult People at Work. New York: St. Martin’s Publishing Group
- Gabassi, P. G. (2006). Psychology of labor in organization. Milan: Franco Angeli.
- Gentile, M. (2009). Il mobbing. Problem and almost practice in public work. Milan: Giuffrè Editore.