Do you know what is sexual coercion? Whenever a sexual relationship occurs, it is essential that the people involved wish to do so and freely express their consent. However, it may happen that a person, in some way, feels pressured or forced to have a certain sexual activity, even though this is not their desire.
And we have grown up with some social norms that They have made us believe that it is not always okay to say NO.. Generally, this happens to married women, who have traditionally been taught that they have “the obligation” to satisfy their husbands. Also, in dating it is often thought that saying no to a sexual request from your partner shows a lack of love or can motivate this person to look for someone else who can “please them.”
Additionally, there are hundreds of cases in which people are tricked, forced or manipulated into accepting sexual contact they do not want. This is what sexual coercion is all about and, although it frequently happens in relationships, this It can come from anyone: friends, study or work colleagues, bosses, teachers, family, people you are barely knowing, or strangers.
But do you know how sexual coercion occurs?
Although sexual coercion seeks to get you to accept sexual contact that you do not want, It generally occurs without the use of physical violence. It is focused on producing pressure until the person, out of guilt or fatigue, gives in to the request that is being made. Find out its most frequent expressions below:
- Frequent insistence of a person to engage in sexual activity with you.
- Lies or false promises to get you to agree to have sex.
- Threats to end the relationship or spread rumors about you if you don’t agree to have sex.
- That a figure of power uses his authority to pressure you to have any type of sexual contact.
- Making you feel like it’s too late to say you don’t want to have a sexual relationship.
Frequent phrases to use sexual coercion
In our societies we have normalized some phrases that seek to convince or force another person to have sex. Find some of the most common below. You’ve probably heard them more than once:
- “You would if you really loved me.”
- “You already turned me on, you can’t just tell me to stop.”
- “Why do you have to ruin it?”
- “I will break up with you if you don’t have sex with me.”
- “I’ll tell everyone you did it anyway.”
- “I will reward you”.
- “If you don’t do it to me, I’ll do it to your children.”
- “If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone you’re gay.”
If you feel pressured to have sexual contact with someone, it is important that you seek to remove yourself from that situation. Keep in mind that this does not make you guilty of anything and that in any circumstance you have the right to say “NO” and decide about your body.
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How to act against sexual coercion?
Many people are exposed to this type of pressure on a daily basis in various areas.: in academics, work, family, with your partner, in public spaces, among others, and many times not knowing how to act can lead to making wrong decisions. If you find yourself exposed to sexual coercion, keep the following in mind.
No means no
Don’t forget that all people involved in sexual activity must freely express their consentotherwise it is a crime.
Do not justify sexual violence
Many social norms make us grow up with false beliefs that justify abuse or sexual assault in certain scenarios. Under no circumstances can sexual violence be justified.
Be clear with the person who is trying to force you.
Express clearly what you feel to the person who is trying to force you. You can use answers like the following:
- “If you really care about me, you will respect that I don’t want to have sex.”
- “I don’t owe you an explanation or anything at all.”
- “You must be wrong. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”
The complaint is important
It can be considered a type of sexual violence. If you or someone close to you experiences it, do not hesitate to seek help and report it to the authorities.
In it # Movement We defend the right of all people to decide about their body and to be respected when they express that they do not wish to have sexual contact. Don’t forget that Sexual consent must be free, enthusiastic, specific, informed and reversible.
and the initiatives we are promoting to protect the innocence of our children. This April 29, in the in Yonkers. Your participation is important.