Mindfulsex, or conscious sex, is a practice that combines mindfulness with sexual intimacy. It is based on the idea of being fully present and aware during the sexual experience, cultivating a greater connection with oneself, one’s partner, and the present moment.
Although the concept seems simple at first glance, it is actually very complicated to achieve. In fact, it is no secret that sexual life is not only made up of physical impulses, but also entails a series of psychological, emotional and even cultural elements, which can positively or negatively affect people’s sexual encounters. In this Psychology-online article, we explain what Mindful Sex is and how to practice it. Practicing conscious sexuality will allow you to live fully and have a deeper and more pleasant connection with your partner.
What is Mindful sex?
Mindful Sex, also known as conscious sex or full sex, is a practice that combines full attention, or , with sexual intimacy. It is about being completely present during the sexual experience, paying attention to the sensations and emotions that are experienced.
This ancient practice has its origins in the ancient East, specifically in Tantra, and is widely supported by various international scientific studies. By practicing mindfulness during sex, you can discover new sensations, increase sensitivity and awareness of one’s own bodyand develop greater communication with the couple.
Importance of Mindful sex in relationships
The practice of Mindfulsex is very important to establish a deep connection with your partner when making love. By being fully present and connected during sex, you create a emotional intimacy space Between both. This implies that attention is paid to the needs and desires of the other, open communication is encouraged and the emotional bond is strengthened.
Furthermore, by being connected, a healthier relationship is achieved where there are no risks in transmitting real emotions, because you enjoy the present and escape from the hectic routine that exists in today’s society.
Objectives of Mindful Sex
The main objective of Mindful Sex is experience greater connection and enjoyment in the sexual sphere, deepening intimacy and personal satisfaction. It also has other specific objectives. Below, we mention the most important ones:
- Increase emotional connection: This practice seeks to strengthen the emotional connection between couples. The goal is to create an intimate and safe space where you can both experience and express your desires, needs and emotions in an authentic and respectful way.
- Increase sexual fulfillment and enjoyment: another of the main objectives of Mindfulsex is to allow people to experience sex fully and satisfactorily. Being consciously present in the moment and paying attention to physical sensations, emotions and sexual stimuli increases pleasure and enjoyment during the intimate encounter.
- Reduce stress and anxiety: Another goal of Mindfulsex is to help stress and anxiety associated with sex. By practicing mindfulness during sex, the mind’s worries and distractions decrease, allowing you to relax and enjoy a calmer, more rewarding sexual experience.
- Improve sexual communication: This tactic encourages more open and clear communication about sexual desires, limits and preferences, which helps build greater trust and mutual understanding.
- Foster intimacy and sexual connection: Create a space where you both feel safe and emotionally connected, which strengthens intimacy and passion in the relationship.
How to practice Mindful Sex
When doing Mindful Sex with your partner, it is important to put aside the worries, anxieties, dilemmas and overwhelming situations of daily life. The idea is that the sexual encounter serves to openly express one’s feelingswithout repressing or hiding them.
So, if you want to practice mindfulsex, we recommend following these steps:
- Talk about what you like: It is important that you talk to your partner about what you like and what you don’t. Reaching a consensus is crucial for both of you to enjoy sex.
- Mentalize yourself to be fully present during the sexual encounter.
- Relax your body and scan each area so you know which one you should focus on to relax tensions.
- Don’t focus on how you look nakednor what the other person thinks about you, because that will block you.
- Pay attention to erogenous zones: Remember that each area of the body is stimulated in different ways, so you must pay attention to the most sensitive areas such as the clitoris, glans or nipples, so that each movement is pleasurable.
- Don’t force any situation: The act of penetration must be slow and unhurried so that the sensation is as pleasant as possible. If necessary, use some type of lubricants to make every moment satisfactory.
- Listen to your body and not your head: You must put aside thoughts of judging and analyze each step to try to fix everything. Focus on enjoying the moment.
- Interpret your partner’s non-verbal language: If at any time your breathing becomes very agitated, you are doing the right thing, but if you stop breathing suddenly or tense up, try to change the situation to return to the moment of fullness.
Examples of Mindful Sex
As you can see, Mindfulsex involves focusing fully on the sexual experience, tuning into the senses and living in the present moment. Below, we leave you some examples of practicable Mindfulsex:
- Sensory connection: At the time of sex, pay attention to the texture of your partner’s skin, the sounds they make, and the smells and flavors they give off during intimacy.
- Conscious breathing: breathing is a powerful tool in the practice of Mindfulsex. Before, during and after sex, become aware of your breathing. Breathe deeply, slowly and consciously. In this article, we propose several.
- Open communication: Conscious sexual encounter also involves open and honest communication with your partner. Express your wants, needs, and limits clearly. Don’t be afraid to talk about your fantasies, preferences, and what gives you pleasure. This helps encourage greater intimacy during sex.
- Sexual meditation: Before having sex, you can meditate to establish a deeper connection with your body and that of your partner.
Remember that mindful sex does not have strict rules, but is about being present and connected with yourself and your partner. You can adapt these practices to your own preferences and explore new ways to consciously experience sexual intimacy.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Brotto, LA, Keefe, BD, Levin, ME, & Gorzalka, BB (2018). Mindfulness-Based Sex Therapy Improves Genital-Subjective Arousal Concordance in Women with Sexual Desire/Arousal Difficulties. The Journal of Sex Research, 55(8), 951-961.
- Richardson, D. (2011). Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm. There is House.