As social beings we need a certain connectivity and feeling of belonging to others. This is why satisfying social relationships increase our self-esteem. Therefore, we like to interact with other people and we get reinforcement from every interaction we make in our daily lives and that makes us feel happy.
“How to communicate better with others?”
Interactions can occur verbally or non-verbally, with a gesture we are already establishing an interaction. A fundamental element of successful social relationships is adequate communication. But what do we mean by this? In this Psychology-Online article we tell you how to communicate better with others.
Techniques to improve communication
A typical communication model It includes a sender, a receiver, and a verbal or nonverbal message that is encoded by the sender and decoded by the receiver. In addition, there is also feedback, which is the response that the sender emits to the message received, as well as noise, something that can affect communication.
Coding refers to the transformation that the sender makes of a thought into a communicable message. The receiver, on the other hand, interprets what he receives as a message (verbal or non-verbal).
Of course, as you can imagine, a lot happens in between since there is no unbiased decoded message. The way we decode a message is never really objective. We all have our own filters and explanatory styles that make up the photograph of the world we perceive. What makes the communication process more complex is the fact that the sender of the message almost never provides only factual information.
According to some communication models, a message has 4 facets:
- About what do I report (data, facts, statements…)
- What a revelation about myself (information about the issuer)
- Relations. What do I think about you?
- What do I want the other person to do?
To know how to communicate better with others, we must take into account the 4 characteristics of the message. The next time you think something is not going well in the communication, remember the initial message and consider the 4 aspects of the message. In reality, this is about looking for other alternatives to the interpretation we have made of the message.
Knowing how to communicate step by step: the best tips
Every healthy relationship must have open and honest communication. Some tips that can help you are:
- Find the right time. If something is bothering you and you want to have a conversation about it, you should find the right time to talk about it. Try to find a time when you and your partner are calm and not distracted, stressed or rushed. If you are really very busy you should set a time and day to talk.
- Talk face to face. Avoid talking about serious topics in writing. Text messages, letters and emails can be misinterpreted. Talk in person (face to face) so there are no communication problems. If you’re having trouble collecting your thoughts, consider writing them down on paper to read to the other person when you’re talking.
- Do not attack. Even without intending to do so, we can be very abrupt in our choice of words. There are words that make the other person feel attacked and acquire a defensive position and, therefore, less receptive to the message.
- Be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is the key to a healthy relationship. Admit that we are not always perfect and that we should apologize when we make a mistake instead of making excuses. You will feel better and your relationship will strengthen.
- Be aware of your body language. Let your interlocutor know that you are really listening to him by giving him your full attention: sit down and look him in the eyes when he speaks. Don’t answer a phone call, text, or watch a video while you’re talking. Show him that you respect him through your active listening and your responses.
- Use the 48 hour rule. If your partner does something that makes you angry, you may need to tell them. But you don’t need to tell him right away. If he’s still bothering you 48 hours later, say something. If not, consider forgetting about it. But remember that your partner cannot read your mind. If you don’t speak up when you’re disappointed, there’s no way to apologize or change. Once you’ve mentioned what’s bothering you and the other person has sincerely apologized, let it go. Don’t keep past events that are not relevant, learn to.
How to improve communication with your partner when we are angry
It’s normal to get angry in the context of a relationship, everyone has reached that point. What really matters is that you resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Here are some tips for communicate appropriately when you are angry:
For
If you are really angry about something, stop, take a step back and breathe. Tell the other person that you would like to take a break before continuing the conversation. Give yourself time to calm down by doing some relaxing activity for yourself: talking with a friend, watching TV, watching a video, walking, listening to music or whatever helps you relax. Take a break It can help you maintain the situation and prevent it from getting worse.
Think
When you are no longer angry or disappointed, think about the situation and why you became angry. Find out and identify the real problem and then think about how you can explain your feelings.
Speaks
Finally, after following the previous steps, talk to the other person about the real problem.
Listen
After telling your partner how you feel, remember to stop talking and let the other person say what they need to say. You should both have the opportunity to express how you feel in a safe and healthy context.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to communicate better with otherswe recommend that you enter our category.