How many times do we wonder if all this talk about physical exercise enthusiasts is healthy; How many times do we end up submitting to or complying with the moral precepts of our culture and thus transform the soliloquy “It bothers me a lot that my friend is doing better than me” into “Surely it has been so easy for him because he received help and didn’t care.” “He has had to work as hard as I have.” This and in many other ways envy occurs, which is why in this Psychology-Online article we will explain it to you. what is envy and its consequences.
What is envy: definition
The definition of envy used by Melanie Klein (1957) refers to the feeling of anger at another person who possesses and enjoys something desirable, often accompanied by an impulse to take it.
Envy then implies desire something that others have: intellectual abilities, skills, money, beauty, power or possessions that, when unable to obtain them, cause a profound alteration of mood (for example, sadness, anger or rage). As a result of these emotions, the person who experiences envy forms the expectation that an injustice is committed towards him for considering that the success, goods or qualities of the envied person should be theirs.
The human being who experiences envy also manifests a feeling of pleasure or well-being when the subject he envies is going through a bad time, so it not only corresponds to the pain or sadness of not having what the other has but also enjoy when the other loses it although the one who feels envy has not achieved it yet.
Envy: meaning in psychology
Envy comes mainly from the lack of not having something and seeing it in another person and wanting it. In envy there is an exorbitant regret for the discovery that another person possesses or achieves something that we believe we should have, but that we cannot possess.
The person who experiences envy is bothered by the fact that there is someone else’s prosperity associated with an idea of injustice. “Why him and not me?” The meaning of enlife in psychology states that this sensation prevents creativity and the development of one’s own style or self-esteem. In the following article you will find the different ones.
Below are some of the characteristics of one’s own style that are limited in their development by envy:
- Your own style of coping with adverse situations.
- One’s own style in observing daily or significant events.
- The order of priorities in the subject’s life.
- The objectives to achieve.
- The style of relationship with others.
The creative person is original and true to himself. The person who experiences envy wants to be someone else (he wants to be the subject he envies) and have what he has. In psychology it has been observed that these people they cannot enjoy what they have.
Difference between envy and jealousy
The jealousy are the feeling that occurs when we have fear of possible loss of a loved object or something you think you have. In the envy The fear of losing something is not mobilized but the not having something you have never had. Although these two may have a very great similarity, due to their social tone and their impact on self-esteem, they are very different.
Is there healthy envy?
The first thing we think about when reading or hearing something related to envy is that it cannot have any benefits. But it can be productive, if there is healthy envy.
The Healthy envy can help us create something and reinvent ourselves. “If he could do it, I would like to try it too.” “If she could get out of this precarious situation, I think she could try too.” What must be evaluated very carefully is the pathological part that envy can lead us to.
We must explore what things have influenced my own psychological development that cause me to move towards the pathological part of envy.
Below we share some aspects that will help you Differentiate healthy envy from pathological envy:
- We must know if we want to grow with what we envy or if we want to destroy what we envy.
- Observe if someone is present that causes you to feel less and not feel able to reach and achieve what the other has.
- Not knowing oneself (one’s own skills and abilities) and not recognizing the feeling of envy.
- Believing that you possess qualities that you do not actually possess that when found in other people causes a deep psychological dissonance that cannot be endured.
Consequences of envy
Below are some of the most frequent consequences of envy:
- Limitation of creativity.
- Little personal, professional or academic, family and social development.
- Mental disorders (for example, a depressive disorder, a delusional disorder).
- Isolation.
- Intra and interpersonal conflicts.
- Lack of development of one’s own style (low self-esteem). Here you will find the.
Can envy be changed into admiration?
Alluding to the massive intervention that Christianity has had in moral values, we can highlight the premise – You will not covet your neighbor’s goods – with which they confront envy. This expression emerges as one of the commandments that have been able to regulate behavior for many years but that unfortunately has also been used by some as a means to revile something so deeply rooted in human beings (envy).
People have learned something that is sometimes even reinforced to us with the many phrases of personal improvement or advice that we hear. For example – It is better that you admire than envy the other, congratulate them for the achievement and success they have achieved so you can overcome envy – and this can be healthy for the person who listens or reads it if they can analyze these phrases better.
A person who experiences pathological envy He cannot admire because he lacks love. To admire someone, you love them first. You love what you see, you love that it has these characteristics that maybe you don’t have, and that can be such a wonderful thing. What these phrases of self-improvement direct us to is that by feeling that by admiring the other person they will be part of that person (a projection phenomenon) the recognition is up to them as well. This process of mass congratulations and flattering personality alludes to a lack of ideals, a lack of self-love and per se to others.
Envy is not transformed by congratulating and praising the other. Admiration can only occur when we are capable of loving and in order to love we must learn to value the abilities, qualities, ideals and own style that each of us has (self-love).
You can change the internal dialogue towards this thought: “I’m going to try to do what he did, let’s find out if I can also achieve it the way he did it, I learned from him to do better to achieve it, I’m not going to do it.” to destroy what he taught me to grow up”. That’s love.
There are people who claim that self-knowledge is relatively superfluous and that this will not cause a single change in what we are feeling. The truth is no one can choose how to feel at a certain moment but they can influence how they understand it, and the understanding of what we are It can modify and restructure what we feel, including envy.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What is envy and its consequenceswe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- M. Klein. (1957). Envy and gratitude . London, Case conference.