From “the papers” or “until death do us part.” The incisive phrase that establishes the beginning of a married life, already assumes a commitment to another person. Specifically, with that person you love. But what happens when two married people fall in love? Falling in love with one’s own partner is ideal, but it is not always the case.
Sometimes there may be situations in which you think you love two people at the same time or that you fall in love with your lover and you don’t know what to do with your marriage. In this Psychology-Online article, we tell you what happens when two married people fall in love and it is not your own partner.
What do people who fall in love outside of marriage face?
In addition to having to deal with the internal conflicts that these situations entail, there is also the moral reproach. And marriage explicitly carries the promise of fidelity. At the same time, fidelity, like infidelity, is a very complex term since there is no single concept that defines it. Discover the.
The meaning of lover seems to consist of not transgression of the limits set and agreed between the couple and even the limits that govern the society in which they live. As mentioned above, there are sociocultural and religious aspects that have the potential to influence these conceptions. In the case of Catholicism, for example, not only intercourse but the mere fact of desiring someone other than one’s spouse is considered infidelity, which would explain the reason for internal and identity conflicts.
Can lovers fall in love?
If you are wondering if lovers can fall in love, the answer is yes, of course it depends on some factors. According to Dr. Esther Perel, turning to or even fantasizing about someone outside of your relationship It’s something that’s been around forever. and will continue to exist. This fact has to do with your identity, with rediscovering yourself or rethinking who you are, how you perceive yourself or want to be perceived, more than with the intention of harming your partner.
What happens when two married people fall in love? When someone else shows up occupying tasks or experiences that your spouse is supposed to be occupying, it’s time to pause and work on an inventory. Yes, an internal inventory of your emotions, desires, expectations, goals, your own feelings and those regarding your partner. This way you may be able to Identify if what you are going through is a reality of love genuine or is it something superficial. Whatever the case, it is highly beneficial to turn to a psychologist who will provide you with appropriate tools according to your particular situation.
Can you love two people at the same time?
Have you ever wondered if there is a broad answer since It depends on how the idea of love is conceived.. On the one hand, we have Sternberg, who maintains that a loving relationship must have these three elements: intimacy, passion and commitment, which could be comfortably interpreted in a relationship that is governed by monogamy. While, on the other hand, there are those who focus on a different idea of what love is, opening the way to the concepts of polyamory, which has as one of its pillars the establishment of a loving relationship between three or more people. in a consensual manner.
However, what about feeling romantic affection for more than one person at a time? Let’s say it is possible, although not exactly. In other words, a person can feel romantic affection for two people at the same time, as happens in polyamorous relationships, but this affection You will be motivated by different issues or needs. For example, the need for protection perceived in one of the loved ones versus the sense of commitment found in the other individual for whom one has affection.
In this article, we answer the following question:
How long does falling in love last between lovers?
First of all, it is prudent to know some terms that will facilitate this process of clarifying your doubts. An example of this is the word infatuation, which is understood as a stage that occurs in romantic love, when love itself has not yet developed.
Falling in love is about that phase where you are excited about the other person, you discharge adrenaline, you see only perfection in him or her and no defects, not because they do not have them, but because you are in love. This effect usually occurs in a period of two years approximately.
How to leave your lover if you love him
Leaving your lover if you love him is one of the things that can be difficult for you. If you have already defined that what you feel is love and that you want to leave the story behind to preserve your marriage, the most important thing is attend psychotherapy so that you can emotionally rebuild all the areas that have been affected. On the other hand, we suggest that you make use of these recommendations:
- Set your posture and tell that person.
- Avoid staying in frequent contact. Don’t text him, make calls, or visit him.
- Focus on your partner and the positive things they have achieved and can achieve.
In this article, we tell you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What happens when two married people fall in lovewe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Perel, Esther. (2017). The state of affairs: Rethinking infidelity-A book for anyone who has ever loved. Hachette UK.
- Sternberg, R.J. (1988). The love triangle. Intimacy, passion and commitment. Paidós. Iberian.
- Perel, Esther. (2015). Rethinking infidelity… a talk for anyone she has ever loved. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved?language=es