School bullying is more common than you can imagine and often the end is devastating. The figures in Colombia are alarming. What actions to take?
The case of bullying that Drayke Hardman experienced for a year has shaken in recent hours, not only the inhabitants of Utah, USA, but all those who have known his story. His parents and sisters indicated, through a series of photographs and messages on their personal Instagram accounts, that the 11-year-old boy was suffering from harassment by a schoolmate. The little boy hid from his family the physical, verbal and emotional abuse that he was experiencing, until he couldn’t take it anymore and made the decision to end his life.
Like Drayke, there are many children and adolescents who face an abuser daily and in silence. According to the international observatory of bullying without borders, between October 1, 2017 and March 1, 20221, 8,981 serious cases of bullying were registered.
Parents are responsible for the emotional situation of their children because bullying leaves emotional consequences in the short and long term, since it has been seen that adults with depression or anxiety disorders have a history of bullying at younger ages, especially preadolescence.
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What consequences does bullying have on children?
Natalia Cárdenas, Psychologist and spokesperson for Nosotras’ #BullyingPorLoving campaign, explains that on an emotional level it can be evident:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Post traumatic stress
- Aggressiveness
- Difficulty relating
- Suicidal thoughts
For Juanita Alarcón, a child psychiatrist, there are three variables that perpetuate these emotional consequences:
- If he ‘bullying’ is repetitiveif it happens over and over again over a period of time it creates more difficulties.
- Yes there are major violence and the child feels that his life and integrity are at greater risk, that level of intensity leads him to have greater emotional responses.
- If there is a vulnerability to abuse or a mental health condition, that is, if the child or adolescent presents other problems such as difficulties at home, child abuse, grief, and so on. These instances cause disorders to develop and can even lead to suicidal ideation.
To read:
What signs help identify a case of bullying?
Victim:
- Retraction is identified
- There is anguish
- Sleeping difficulties
- Changes in eating habits
- They identify emotions of sadness, anguish, fear of school or certain situations
Victimizer:
All those involved have difficulties, even the one who is perpetuating the bullying because to resort to aggression against another he must feel stronger. Can be:
- Depressed
- Anxious
- And you may even be being a victim in another situation.
What actions to take to prevent or help?
Children find it difficult to trust their parents or caring adults with their things, simply out of fear. So it is important that they feel completely calm to be able to talk about what is happening to them, but also that whoever listens to them remains calm and assertive to receive all the information.
It is important to validate what they feel, how they feel it and never belittle, nor make them feel that what happens to them, they think or feel is less important. Accompanying and supporting them daily will help them face this situation differently.
It should also be taken into account that in the same bullying there are threats such as: “wherever you speak, I will do this or that to you”, so the fear they feel is also used to protect themselves, even their family.
You should speak with the school management to provide timely and immediate management, but if the school does not take action, you can resort to legal organizations to protect the life of the minor.
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At what point should a ‘joke’ be cause for warning?
“As a society we have accepted and normalized a lot of abuse without giving it an adequate context, one thing is a joke, a game and another thing is abuse. We have to help children understand that abuse is not allowed under any circumstances because it injures to the other, it hurts. Parents, caregivers or adults have to be attentive and teach our children that abuse is not allowed. We must also begin to understand that these actions are where many of the difficulties of violence lie and that they also We accept aggression against others as something usual and normal,” Juanita Alarcón mentioned in an interview with Caracol Ahora.
How are the numbers in Colombia?
“The situation in Colombia is that we have no tolerance for differences, it is difficult for us to accept differences from close ages, from childhood. Parents do not promote differences, they compare children: “you have to be like this one or this one.” This is a scourge that we experience in educational institutions, even in the University and work contexts,” said Victoria Cabrera, family psychologist to Noticias Caracol.
According to two foundations in Colombia that are dedicated to working on bullying cases, 3 out of every 5 child victims of bullying think about suicide (San Martín Foundation) and every 30 hours a child or adolescent commits suicide and every 23 hours tries (Sergio Urrego Foundation). While legal medicine registered 275 cases of suicide in the population between 5 and 17 years of age in 2021.
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