Twenty red flags that indicate that you or your partner may be or become aggressors

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In recent months, it has become a trend on social networks ‘red flags’ or red flags about the other person’s actions in which we must stop and ask ourselves how much we can allow those attitudes that bother us and what limits we should set in this regard.

That is why, on Facebook Live on November 25, we talked about those signs that tell us that the person we are with can physically and psychologically attack us at any time of stress, anger or due to abuse of psychoactive substances such as alcohol. Also those actions that indicate to us that we can react aggressively towards that loved one.

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In our article it was explained that There are different types of violence, which are usually overlooked because they are committed by very close people, such as a partner or close relatives. The most important thing is to detect them in time and Take action with a specialist doctor before they escalate to physical violence and can lead to a more serious problem.

“Many times we don’t notice that we are normalizing violence in the relationship,” Erika Ariza, clinical psychologist at .

In the case of verbal, emotional and/or psychological violence, reference is made to verbal harassment through insults, permanent criticism, hurtful comments and humiliation, as well as devaluation behaviors, lackadaisical gestures, ridicule, isolation, jealousy, and possessiveness. Some examples of these are:

  • Attitudes of hostility and contempt: false accusations, blaming the partner and/or making them feel inferior.
  • Intimidation or domination: cause fear, control their actions, threaten to cause harm and/or isolate the person from their environment (friends, family).
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In order to determine some actions or red flags that help us identify when we should retrospect what is happening and make decisions regarding them, the clinical psychologist, Erika Ariza, accompanied us. She has experience in couples therapy and working with people who have experienced some type of sexual abuse.

Erika highlights the following actions that can help identify aggression from us or the other person:

  1. Feeling afraid of angering the other person.
  2. Condition the day depending on the other’s mood, as well as respect.
  3. Feeling like everything is your fault.
  4. Not being able to talk about certain topics because he reacts violently.
  5. Notice that after a fight he acts friendly, without talking about what happened.
  6. Feeling afraid when you don’t obey what you want.
  7. Stop being with your social link so as not to bother him.
  8. Receive warnings from those closest to you because of that person’s attitude.
  9. Having doubts about yourself and making yourself feel bad.
  10. Ridicule and minimize your feelings.
  11. Not feeling the ability to make decisions without this person’s approval.
  12. Minimize actions that hurt or upset you.
  13. Apologize without acknowledging the impact of your actions.
  14. Punish by ignoring you.
  15. Threaten harm.
  16. Forcing you to have sex, even though you don’t want to at that moment.
  17. Twist what you say.
  18. Make you feel inadequate and ignore or be jealous of your achievements.
  19. Constantly manipulate.
  20. React aggressively to anything.

“The focus should be on the abuser and not on the person who is in this type of relationship,” Erika Ariza, clinical psychologist.

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If one of these flags appears, it does not mean that it is a violent relationship or that someone is going to exercise any type of aggression, but If it is more than one sign, the context is somewhat violent or you frequently feel afraid regarding the aforementioned attitudes, we must begin to have limits and seek support.

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Finally, The psychologist recommends that if we detect any of these red flags or aggressive actions, we do not hesitate to seek help from our support network, talk to that person who is exercising violence and set limits about it and, if necessary, distance yourself and have the opinion of a mental health expert.

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If you want to learn more about the topic, watch the full Facebook Live video about red flags that indicate that you or your partner may be or become aggressors.

Remember that Because I Want to Be Well has Free psychological care 24/7 through the line 333 033 3588.