Anyone who claims to be a poetry lover must at some point in their life have heard a poem by Emily Dickinson, an emblematic poet who has earned recognition among the classics. But, an artist with such abilities to put into words the beauty of reality, she could not have experienced an everyday life. On the contrary, the difference stood out as one of the most striking qualities in the poet’s personality. So much so that, centuries before, when gender roles punished otherness like executioners, she broke with patterns and often reassigned her pronouns to refer to herself as a swinging bridge between the feminine and the masculine. But perhaps the most relevant aspect of Emily Dickinson is her passionate ability to love, which can be seen in the poetic letters that recount her intense love between her and Susan Gilbert.
A geometric love
Four months before her twentieth birthday, Emily Dickinson (December 10, 1830 – May 15, 1886) met the woman who would be her muse for the rest of her days, her “only woman in the world.” Susan Gilbert had settled in Amherst, to be near her sister after graduating from Utica Female Academy. One of the few institutions with academic rigor available to women at that time.
Susan snuck into Emily’s life in the summer of 1850, an event that would later be described by the poet as the time when “love first began, on the front door step and under the evergreens. ”. But Emily was not the only person bewitched by Susan’s charm; Austin Dickinson, the poet’s brother, was also captivated by her early erudition. But this didn’t stop Emily and Susan from developing a passionate friendship.
Emily Dickinson’s letters to ‘Susie’
Over the next seventeen months, a whirlwind of emotions took over Emily, who managed to form an intimate bond with Susan. The two young women spent long hours together, taking walks through the forest and their friendship would last throughout their lives. “We are the only poets,” Emily told Susan, “and everyone else is prose.”
At the beginning of 1852, the poet had fallen into the dead end of falling in love beyond words. And she launched into her friend with a line:
“Come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells always ring and the preacher whose name is Love, will intercede for us!”
But as in any close relationship, disagreements came without warning when Susan accepted a ten-month position as a teacher in Baltimore. Dickinson was devastated by such a separation, but this was the perfect occasion to declare his love for Susan through her letters, which would later become emblematic for the passion contained in them.
…less of anger and more of sadness
In a letter in early spring 1852, eight months after the separation, Emily wrote a letter revealing her inner conflict:
Will you be nice to me, Susie? I feel naughty and angry this morning, and no one here loves me; Not even you would love me if you saw me frown and heard how loud the door slams every time I pass by. And yet it’s not anger, I don’t think it is, because when no one is looking, I wipe my big tears with the corner of my apron and then continue working. Bitter tears, Susie, so hot that they burn my cheeks, and almost set my eyes on fire, but you have cried a lot, and you know that they are less of anger and more of sadness. Your precious letter, Susie, is here now, and smiles so kindly at me. And she gives me such sweet thoughts about the dear author of her. When you come home, honey, I won’t get your letters, okay? But I will have you, which is more… Oh, more and better than I can think! I sit here with my little whip, breaking time, until there’s not an hour left, then you’re here! And joy is here, joy now and forever!
A poetic revolution against heteronormativity
Months later and upon Susan’s expectant return home, Emily experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. With her love so intense and intricate, she is torn between the pain of separation, the joy of reunion, and uncertainty. A few days after the return of her intimate friend, Emily Dickinson wrote in her letters:
“Susie, are you really going to come home next Saturday and be mine again and kiss me like you used to?” I wait for you so much, and I feel so anxious for you, I feel like I can’t wait. The anticipation of seeing your face again makes me feel hot and feverish, and my heart beats so fast. I go home at night, and the first thing I know is that I’m sitting there, awake and hugging myself, squeezing my hands and thinking about next Saturday. Why, Susie, it seems to me that my absent Lover would be home so soon, and my heart must be very busy preparing for him.”
Dickinson would frequently and deliberately reassign gender pronouns, both for herself and her loved ones. Throughout her life, she would often sign her letters referring to herself as he: boy, prince, count or duke in defiance of the crude heteronormativity imposed at the time.
But the love story between Emily and Susan is woven between geometric figures, where the base of the triangle is shared by Emily and Austin Dickinson. Susan ended up marrying the poet’s brother and although he repeatedly hid her sister’s correspondence, the letters between them continued. They reveal the unusual story of love between two women who thoroughly explored the splendors and sadnesses of their bond. Thanks to which, Dickinson transformed his greatest desires into a creative revolution that would transform poetry forever.