We can define Emotional Intelligence thanks to the studies of Daniel Goleman, who describes it as an ability to understand, recognize and manage both our own emotions and the emotions of others. Not only that, but we can also list many other elements of Emotional Intelligence, these include abilities such as connecting and managing our emotions, motivating ourselves, overcoming frustrations, improving our relationships with others… If you want to know more about The 5 elements of Emotional Intelligencewe invite you to continue reading this Psychology-Online article.
Emotional intelligence according to Daniel Goleman
We understand Emotional Intelligence better thanks to Daniel Goleman. This American psychologist brought the concept closer to the entire population, despite the fact that emotional intelligence had already been described previously. He gained worldwide fame writing an essay that, to this day, has become a best-seller and whose name is the concept itself: Emotional Intelligence
Goleman defines Emotional Intelligence as a way of understanding intelligence beyond logical and rational thinking. It defines it through five components or principles of Emotional Intelligence. These allow us to better resolve the conflicts that appear in our lives, better understand the people around us, be more effective in new situations…, in short, Emotional Intelligence consists of a series of components that help us carry out our day by day in a better way and that have little to do with the concept of traditional intelligence.
The 5 components of emotional intelligence according to Goleman
As we have mentioned previously, there are some components or principles that define how Emotional Intelligence acts in our lives. These are the following:
- Emotional Self-Awareness
- Emotional Self-Regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
Emotional Self-Awareness
This first component is also called emotional self-knowledge, that is, having the ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions and the mood. It is an intellectual process and thanks to it, we can establish a relationship between what we feel, how we express it and how others experience it. We focus on our interior to understand ourselves a little better.
Thanks to emotional self-awareness, we can identify the specific emotional states we experience throughout the day to also be able to analyze the effect that these states produce on the environment, since emotions also interfere with social relationships.
For example, while on a day when you are happy you really enjoy the plans with your best friends, it is possible that in a moment of anger, you tend to distance yourself and see the negative side of others. Emotions, in a way, change the way you look at the world around you.
Emotional Self-Regulation
Also known as emotional self-control, it involves ability to control impulses and emotions in an assertive and correct way to avoid living at the mercy of the most primary instincts. Low emotional self-regulation can lead to many conflicts, fights and altercations with those around us. This, in the long run, can produce a very negative personal image and distance us from our closest friendships and relationships.
Thanks to emotional self-control, we can react appropriately to the events that life throws at us, so that we can adapt better to the environment around us.
It is about learning to think about things before speaking, being able to rationalize the emotion to prevent it from overflowing and turning into anxiety, or acquiring our own resources to learn to manage our behaviors and emotions ourselves.
Motivation
Motivation is the third component of Emotional Intelligence. This is a psychological process that includes ability to direct our emotional states towards a specific goal or objective, always with a positive focus and a lot of energy. Thanks to motivation, we can also recover more easily from life’s setbacks, find solutions quickly and get back on track towards our goals, being more persistent and emphatic.
For example, if our goal is to get a good job, we may not get it the first time, but thanks to motivation, we will never forget what our goal is and we will continue looking for the best path until we can reach the desired goal.
Lack of motivation translates into boredom, tiredness, routine understood in a negative way, sadness… On the other hand, Having a reason to fight becomes an engine to live.
Empathy
The fourth element of Emotional Intelligence is empathy. When we talk about , we are referring to the famous ability to put ourselves in the other’s place, to recognize the emotions and feelings of others. In some extreme cases, even experiencing those emotions.
Thanks to this ability, we are able to understand and internalize the emotions of others from the emotional expression that they show us. We put awareness, therefore, in the feelings and emotions of those around us, we see our environment from another perspective instead of focusing on ourselves. Knowing how another person feels by understanding their gestures is an ability that promotes mutual understanding and allows us to have more and better interpersonal relationships.
For example, if someone cries next to us, we can understand that they are suffering some type of pain, whether physical or emotional. In addition to knowing what is happening to them, if we have developed the ability to empathize, we can feel that pain as our own.
Social skills
Finally, we find the last of the 5 elements of emotional intelligence: social skills.
We understand social skills as the set of capabilities that allow us to provide appropriate responses to the environment and relate better to the people around us. They are the key to good personal and professional development. Thanks to them, we can communicate more assertively, making our needs known so that those around us better understand how we feel.
An example of good social skills are those people who remain calm and know how to express their opinions and emotions in a calm manner, avoiding conflict with a potentially dangerous event, such as an argument or debate.
We should not confuse social skills with the fact of manipulating people, there is no room for lies or extortion.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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