Romeo and Juliet, Callisto and Melibea, Beauty and the Beast, who hasn’t ever dreamed of a book love? From a young age we learn an ideal of biased love, since the idea of perfect love is implanted in our society, where you love and they love you at the same level. A relationship in which you would give your life for the other person and you want the other person to give their life for you.
However, we know that love is much more complex than what they sell us in the movies. But, what they don’t explain to us is the phases that people go through before loving completely. Many times is confused between being in love and truly lovingTherefore, at Psychology-Online we want to explain to you from the point of view of psychology what the differences are between both concepts.
What is love: definition in psychology
As recorded in the dictionary provided by the American Psychological Association, the term love is:
A complex emotion that involves strong feelings of affection and tenderness for the object of love, pleasant sensations in his presence, devotion to his well-being and sensitivity to his reactions towards oneself. Although love takes many forms, including concern for human beings (brotherly love), parental love, erotic love, self-love, and identification with the whole self (love of God), the triangular theory of love proposes three essential components: passion, intimacy and commitment.
The combination of these three elements of Stenberg’s theory gives rise to .
We understand love as that emotion experienced towards another person once we have known them in a deeper way. That is, we know his defects and advantages and yet the emotional feeling towards that person continues to exist. Once this phase of romantic love is over, people no longer rely only on attraction, romanticism and idealization that we find in falling in love. In this, the need for respect, commitment, desire to share and forgive They become more and more present. Here you can see.
What is falling in love: definition in psychology
As indicated by the neurologist and psychiatrist Mora (2007), we know the concept of falling in love according to psychology as:
The status of a person dominated by a lively feeling towards anotherwhom she considers her greatest asset, with whom she would like to be united forever and for whom she would sacrifice her own life, if necessary.
Falling in love is usually considered the first phase of a love relationshipwhere people report feeling attracted to a specific person and with whom they feel a series of feelings when they think or see said person.
During this phase, lovers do not really know the other person and, therefore, they see everything they do, say and surround them as correct and ideal. Part of the base an attraction which drives us almost involuntarily to focus all our attention on it. This is due to the sensations that its presence produces in us. In this article you will find more information about .
Characteristics and symptoms of falling in love
I present to you a series of attitudes and thoughts characteristics of those people in love:
- Desire for physical contact.
- Desire for reciprocity.
- Fear of rejection.
- Lack of concentration.
- Regular thoughts about the other person.
- Nerves and anxiety.
- Interest in the other person’s tastes
- Attention focused on the other person.
- Only see the positive in the other person.
In the following article you will find others.
What is the difference between love and infatuation
After seeing the definition of maor and falling in love, we can conclude that they are not the same, but how do you know if you are in love or love? What specific differences are there between love and falling in love according to psychology?
According to Fromm (1957), a series of points could be identified in which love and infatuation are differentiated:
- Falling in love is born when you feel a attraction towards a person and through which we drop the “barriers” that separate us from the rest of the individuals. While love is born once you have met the other person really.
- In falling in love we have the feeling that we have created a special connection with said person, so we share our innermost feelings and thoughts with them. In love, opening up with the other person is a consequence of trust created Between both.
- It produces a chemical change in our biological organism. Thanks to this change, the person in love feels happy and in a good mood. Love no longer gives rise to these organic processes.
- During this phase, the person in love has the feeling that the person you are in love with is perfect and it is the most wonderful in the world. This point is considered the biggest difference between both concepts.
- You begin to love when you stop being in love.
- For loving takes time to know the other person, both the good and the bad, both the defects and the virtues.
- Love starts from the basis of reality, where you stop seeing your partner in an idealized way.
- It is considered that to love a person you have to weigh the good and bad of them and then love them.
- While falling in love is the first contact with the other person, love is born from real coexistence with her. Of sharing and receiving. To live interests and dreams in a shared way.
- While falling in love may not be entirely reciprocal, love must be. You can’t love someone who doesn’t love you. When you fall in love with her, idealizing her can make you accept that she doesn’t love you as much as you love her. However, if you love someone and that person is not interested in you, you will experience a feeling of frustration. If this is your case, reading this article about it may help you.
- In the phase of falling in love, people feel affection and admiration for the other person, while in love these sensations disappear to give rise to what is known as the attachment.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to The 11 differences between love and falling in lovewe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- American Psychiatric Association (APA). (2002). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV-TR. Barcelona: Masson.
- Araujo Gamarra, Y.R. (2019). Friendship and love. National university of Trujillo.
- Fromm, E. (1957). The art of Loving. Mexico. Publisher: Ediciones Paidós Ibérica.
- Mora Montes, JM (2007). Understanding falling in love. Cauriensia, Vol. II (2007) 363-388, ISSN: 1886-4945