During adolescence, the way we manage emotions can overwhelm due to inexperience, for this reason, parental support is key.
Who remembers their first disappointment in love? Of that inconceivable and unbearable pain that is experienced more viscerally, perhaps, because it is the first and because the mood changes are more sudden and we did not know how to handle it.
Do you also remember who accompanied you in that process and how their company made you feel? Support during the breakup process is very important and valuable because in the end it can lead us down the path of reflection and change.
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At this point, , editor-in-chief of the portal, provides a series of tips for parents who are interested in accompanying their adolescent children during this process and considers; Furthermore, it is an appropriate opportunity for teach how to deal with pain, rejection, disappointment and other emotions that often accompany the end of a relationship and even the company of parents could prevent the teenager from feeling even worse.
Patience is key in any of the following recommendations. It takes time to heal, but over time, it happens.
- Validate your emotions.
Don’t minimize what he or she is feeling., especially if you had the idea that your relationship would last forever. In any situation, pain is real and significant.Through assertive and empathetic phrases you can accompany him. Tell him:
– “I know this is difficult.”
– “I know it’s sad when a relationship comes to an end.”Avoid saying:
– “This is no big deal”
– “In high school, relationships don’t usually work out anyway.”These types of comments, which seek to minimize or rationalize pain, can make the adolescent feel alone, trivialized, and misunderstood. Give him the space he needs, it is normal for him to look for you more times than you imagine, so plan to always be available.
- Support your decision
If your son or daughter decided to start a breakup with their partner, it does not mean that they do not feel angry or sad, sometimes the one who makes the decision is the one who ends up feeling more sad. So don’t try to dissuade him If you like your partner, neither You suggest he made the wrong decision, it’s just his decision.. What you can do is hTalk about his feelings and help him understand why the relationship ended, you don’t need to say anything, just listening to him and accompanying him will be enough.
- Encourage him to feel
As an adult, you have the perspective of knowing that life goes on after a relationship ends, your son or daughter does not have the benefit of that experience or hindsight, nor that particularly helpful knowledge to ease their pain.
Instead, It inspires hope so you know you won’t feel this way forever. At the same time, don’t encourage him to escape from his uncomfortable emotions. The grieving process is what will help you heal.
- Be a good listener
In this situation you should not take charge of how he feels, decide or express what you would do in his place. Opinions and analysis should stay aside. What you can do is Encourage him to speak confidently about his frustration, confusion, pain, and any other emotions he is experiencing as a result of the breakup.
“Providing a nonjudgmental listening ear and gentle guidance are the best gifts you can give your heartbroken teen,” adds Morin.
- Talk about the proper use of social networks
In the midst of the rush to publish and update everything on your social networks, it is pertinent that youYou recommend taking a tech break in the days after the breakup.
Also, you can warn him about badmouthing exes, pPost private details of the breakup or share anything personal that was learned during the relationship. Teenagers often lack the maturity to understand how to respectfully handle the end of a relationship. He may need your guidance in making the right decisions regarding the public information about the relationship (and its demise).
- Create a day of activities to help you take your mind off
Invite him to go out of town, go to the movies, go shopping, go to a soccer game, dine out, or cook together at home. It is key that the activities you propose are their favorites or to their liking.
The plan not only keeps you from wandering your mind or staying away from social media, it also serves to remind you that life is pretty good, even without a boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Motivate him to return to the routine
We know that during those days low spirits do not allow several things to be done, in that sense; In addition to inviting him to do a different activity, it is important that you encourage him to return to do some school or housework, meet with your family or friends and resume your sports, recreational or artistic activities.
While remaining sensitive to his feelings, treat him as normally as possible. Wearing kid gloves for too long or mentioning it continually could serve as an unwanted reminder of your distress.
- A roller coaster is coming, get ready
The first days of crying, silence, anger and music alluding to the breakup pass into moments of calm, which can last a short time. It is normal to go through a roller coaster of emotions, in fact, grief is never linear. There are good days, there are bad days until the mood stabilizes forever.
- Seek help, if you need it
There is a possibility that you do not have the necessary tools to help your child deal with this difficult time, so it is It is appropriate to involve a specialist when, after a long time, your child shows signs or signs of depression, eating problems, insomnia or excessive sleeping.. This can only mean that the breakup is affecting you more than usual.
- Don’t lose focus on your teenager
Throughout the entire process, however long it lasts, you must not forget that it is not your breakup, so you must keep your feelings out of everything. Your focus should be on helping your child cope and learn from this experience. Most likely, they will emerge stronger, more confident, and more mature. For now, remind him how smart, kind, loved, and wonderful he is. Express your love!