Talking about Emotional Intelligence (EI) is always appropriate, and even more so when we have all gone through an uncontrollable whirlwind of feelings bouncing around on a daily basis.
What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?
Emotional intelligence is the ability we have to positively control and manage emotions in order to live more fully. Self-knowledge, emotional regulation, empathy and resilience are some of the capabilities that, when developed, make it up.
“Its development should be stimulated, primarily, in childhood because it is the perfect age to self-discover emotions through empathy, generosity, understanding, demonstration of affection, and in this way, express oneself appropriately in a situation of sadness, anguish, happiness or euphoria, without any inhibition and having control over what one feels,” explains Jennifer Ruíz, psychologist at Neuraxis, Clínica Neuropsicológica Integral.
However, emotional self-knowledge is not enough when you do not know how to regulate what you are feeling or saying and there is an excessive overflow of crying, anger, among others.
Relaxation through breathing yoga conscious, the breathing () either the meditation They are options to apply when this situation arises. “When we do not allow emotions to be and express ourselves appropriately, what we do is leave them forgotten, thinking that we are not going to feel them and, In reality what they do is take a form like a monster inside us with absolute control”Adds Ruíz.
If the stimulation did not occur in childhood, it does not mean that it is impossible to do so in adult life because The brain is very flexible and can adapt to needs and learning at any time.. To do this, the same self-knowledge techniques must be used.
Another important aspect to keep in mind is that everything depends on the thoughts and the way in which a situation is assumed, since, according to the philosopher Epictetus, the real problem of people does not lie in the situation or the problem, but rather in the way they think about what is happening to them.
“We are the ones who give the perception, the meaning to what we live – says Ruíz – When you go through an adverse situation, the most appropriate thing is to be aware that it worries me, it makes me feel angry, but what? What am I going to do with that anger? I am going to express it assertively, then I give feedback and try to find an appropriate solution for my mental health and that of others. Well, a person with developed EI does not think only of himself, but of all the people who surround him or are involved in the situation.”
How does it develop?
To develop it, you can seek the help of one or more experts, or begin to identify certain aspects recommended by psychologist Daniel Goleman, world-renowned for his theory of Emotional Intelligence:
1. Discover the emotion that lives behind each of your actions
Learn to connect with emotions through your intelligence. Look for the emotional origin of each action, decision or state of mind. The sadness that is hidden in a scream, the insecurity behind social isolation or the fear that is hidden in the lack of initiative.
2. Incorporates rich emotional language
The four basic emotions are: joy, sadness, anger and fear. When you learn to identify each one, you will be able to put into words what is going through your mind and heart. It is essential to manage emotions.
3. The hidden side of emotions
Behind the primary emotions there are secondary ones. Discover them. Do not be fooled by appearances. Sadness does not only imply sorrow, nor does joy only joy. If you go deeper, you will learn to “read” the emotional background.
4. Don’t judge yourself
Emotions are simple messengers that will tell you how to handle yourself positively. Don’t judge your feelings. They provide you with valuable information and are extremely useful for putting self-control and conscious emotional management into practice.
5. Body language can help you
At first it is difficult to recognize emotions. However, if you pay attention to the gestures or body, you will realize that words do not always tell the truth. As an example, we can think of people who say they are positive and are always willing to help, but, however, on many occasions they are shaking their heads in denial. Between gestures and words, stay with the gestures.
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6. Learn to talk less and act on time
Before you say something you might regret, keep quiet. Before making an untimely decision, wait. For each emotion, detect what thought arises and take time to modify it if necessary.
7. Don’t judge the reactions of others, put yourself in their shoes
Use empathy to not judge others for what they do, say or think. Everyone has their reasons. Look beyond and you will discover a world of emotions.
8. Make an emotional record
Write down your emotions to eventually become a person capable of managing them without having to take notes. Reading a list of emotions and thoughts will help you become aware so you can use them to your advantage and achieve self-improvement. .
9. Express your emotions assertively
Learn to express yourself well. An assertive phrase would be: “I feel such an emotion when you do or say such a thing.” Whoever connects well with his emotions is able to communicate better with others and ask for what he needs. Cheer up! You can do it too.
10. Put the previous points into practice
Theory is useless if you don’t put it into practice.
We can help you if you think you need it. Call us or write to us on WhatsApp at 333 033 3588 or to our chat, which is in the box that says ‘Are you not feeling well?’ that you find on the side.