Aura Medina, psychotherapist, meditation instructor, provides a guide to understand and address the maternal wound, this thought of being “less” that you have internalized and that you also avoid passing on to your daughters. Here are the types of mothers that exist.
The negligent mother
He ignores or does not take care of his daughters, he does not give her guidance, emotional support or empathy. Constantly, she dismisses and denies her emotions.
- WOUND: The message it conveyed to you, over and over again, was that you were INVISIBLE and you grew up with a deep wound of abandonment.
The controlling mother
She needs to be in control of her daughters’ lives at all times, knowing what they do and even what they think, even if they are older and no longer live with her. She wants them to always do what she wants.
- WOUND: It can be difficult for you to be independent and function socially. There is insecurity and lack of confidence in yourself, there is even an inability to make decisions and solve problems.
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The psychosomatic mother
She uses illnesses, aches and pains to manipulate others, get her way and focus attention on herself. If the daughter doesn’t respond, she looks mean and feels like a failure who can’t be nice to her mother.
- WOUND: You grew up with a constant feeling of guilt, anxiety and low self-esteem.
The perfectionist mother
For her, what you achieve in life is of primary importance. Success depends on what you do, not who you are. She expects you to perform at the highest level possible. If the daughter does not comply with this, she feels deeply ashamed and may react with an unbridled fit of fury and rage.
- WOUND: You grow up thinking that everything must be perfect, that mistakes are unacceptable. There is fear of making mistakes and of being judged or criticized. You don’t grow up thinking that you have to learn from mistakes, but rather that the mistake is a total failure.
The mother is a public and scandalous figure
She is adored by the masses, but secretly feared by those who live with her. Seeing how the world reacts to her confuses you. You see that she does not offer you, her daughter, the same warmth and charisma that she offers to others, to friends, colleagues, family, even strangers.
- WOUND: Shame and humiliation.
The Secretly Evil Mother
They are kind, affectionate and attentive in public, but abusive and cruel at home. He usually has a totally different public self and private self. She is able to announce in public: “I am very proud of my daughter. Isn’t she beautiful?”, and then, at home, say: “she urges you to lose weight.”