Do you often wonder why your child doesn’t want to study? You are not the only one, many parents continually ask themselves the same question without finding an answer. One of the most common reactions in these cases is to blame the child, but things are not that simple, it is not a causal relationship. From birth, your child grows and interacts in various contexts (school, family, friends…), and all these contexts, together with their characteristics, influence his behavior, so your child may not want to study for numerous reasons. reasons. In this Psychology-Online article, we explain some reasons why your child does not want to study and we show you tips on what to do about it.
Why doesn’t my son want to study?
Lack of motivation
Normally, human beings carry out certain activities because we have an objective or motivation. A child’s primary responsibility is to learn, but if he doesn’t feel motivated, he probably won’t do it. Your role as a father is explain the importance of studying and the benefits for your future. Try to find fun and educational ways to teach him instead of using punishment as the main method. Pay attention to what he likes and reinforce him so that he moves in that direction, this way he will enhance what he likes most. This is important because the school does not allow the child to discover and develop his or her strengths, and it is the parents’ responsibility to support him in the pursuit of his interests and teach him that he must also be responsible in the subjects he likes least.
Family problems
There are parents who think that children do not know about the problems that may exist at home, but they are wrong. Children pay close attention to discussions at home even when they seem to be focused on an activity, such as a game. They have the sensitivity to sense when things are not going well and the situation worsens when children witness violence in their home.
When there is violence at home, children are affected directly (witnessing the violence) and indirectly (the problems do not allow parents to be available, nor with the patience and calm necessary to care for their child adequately). One of the negative effects is poor school results, is his way of showing that he is affected by what is happening at home. Therefore, family problems may be a reason why your child does not want to study.
Not understanding the subjects
Without the child having late development or a learning problem, he or she may not understand what they are taught at school. By not understanding the material taught in some subjects and seeing that other children seem to understand it, one way to deal with it is to appear to lack interest in studying. I have low grades, but not because I can’t, but because I don’t want to study.
It would be advisable for parents to identify the cause and reinforce it with classes at home for a time. In this way, the child feels the support of her parents, does not feel alone and will face the problem with more confidence.
Bullying (some colleagues insult you, threaten…)
It is a very common phenomenon in schools. The violent behavior of some students is a problem that is increasing year after year.
In some cases, behind the lack of interest in studying, there is a case of . The child stops perceiving school as a safe place where he goes to learn, since he is insulted, threatened…
What do I do if my son doesn’t want to study?
If you don’t know how to act when faced with a child who doesn’t study, here we show you some tips what you can put into practice to motivate a child to study:
Establish specific areas of the house to study
It is very important that there be an area of the house designated for study, where the conditions are adequate, that is, there should be no distracting stimuli, noise, the desk must be spacious for books, pens and all materials must be available so that the study is not interrupted.
Establish a routine
Try to establish a more or less stable schedule during the week to create a routine. For a child to function well, stability and routines are important.
Try to have snack and dinner at around the same time every day, so your child will know when homework time is and can go to sleep early. Sleep is another very important factor for the child to be rested and motivated to study.
Organize study and homework
Organize each of the school months on a calendar with your child. In this way, he will learn with you how to organize his tasks. It is interesting to use different colored markers for each type of task, for example: blue marker for exam dates, red for assignment deadlines, etc. The calendar should be placed in a visible place in the house to serve as a reminder and thus tasks will not be forgotten.
Teach him that studying is more than just doing homework
A very important aspect that must be explained to children is that doing homework is not studying, they must do other tasks that are very important in the learning and study process:
- Make notes while reading texts.
- Learn to make diagrams from texts.
- Learn to study tables and charts.
- Learn to make summaries from readings.
These are some tasks that contribute to meaningful learning and that studying is not only a rote task.
During study time, try to watch for signs of frustration
It is very difficult to learn when the child is angry, unmotivated or upset because the task is too long or difficult. In these situations, parental advice is very important. For example, you can divide an exercise into two parts and take a break between them… If we see frustration in our child, it is better to stop than to continue insisting that the exercise end. In this way, we prevent them from associating studying or homework with a negative situation.
Should parents help their children study?
The answer to this question varies depending on each specific case:
- Yeah: if it is productive to do so, that is, parents check spelling or check that a math problem is done correctly. In this way, parents are a support that reinforces and provides security to their child who has done the exercises.
- No: if it is something the child can do without help and correctly or if it seems that he is on his way to learning the process. Helping is not doing homework for our children or solving things for them without them trying. It is about being a support that accompanies their own learning.
Help and support must be given slow and loving. Helping with a bad face or inappropriate gestures in a punishing tone can be worse than no help at all.
For example, your child finishes a math problem, you read the instructions and check that it is done correctly. Don’t forget to make positive comments about it, reinforcing it is very important for your learning. It is important that you do not associate homework or studying with unpleasant moments or arguments.
Something that can be done so that he learns while being motivated is, for example, involving him in planning a trip, making him look on the map where the destination is located, search for information about the place… In this way, you are helping to develop their interest and information seeking and research skills.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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