Many times, relationships tend to bring us a lot of happiness, stability, understanding and comfort. Loving another person can give you a lot of knowledge, both social and personal, it can help you know yourself much better and take into account the other person’s emotions and thoughts and, above all, empathy. At times, relationships can go through moments of crisis, moments in which one of the members of the couple is not feeling well in the relationship or becomes overwhelmed. It is for this reason that we have to be very attentive to what is happening to the other person in order to help them be better or to change some behaviors that we may be implementing that could be causing their discomfort. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about what to do if your partner is overwhelmed both at the beginning of the relationship and in the process of coexistence and its possible causes.
Why does a person get overwhelmed?
How can you identify that a man or woman is overwhelmed? When one member of the couple is overwhelmed, they tend to be more distant, absent, not so affectionate as in previous moments of the relationship. As you might expect, behind this stress there may be different causes that could explain this change in your loved one’s behavior.
Next, we will detail the possible reasons why your partner may be overwhelmed within your relationship:
- Jealousy: Jealousy can be a very powerful source of discomfort and conflict within a couple since mistrust can overwhelm your partner. Jealousy is fundamentally based on self-doubt and feeling threatened by other people who you believe can take your place in the relationship, which is why it is an issue that has to be worked on and analyzed. to avoid these situations. In this article we talk about.
- Emotional dependence: Being deeply dependent on your partner can cause you to only want to be physically and emotionally with that person, demanding and asking for attention from your partner. In addition to feeling very attached to and needed by that person, the other component of the relationship can feel with a lot of responsibility and overwhelmed since it is difficult to leave personal space and individual growth.
- Not having quality individual time: It is closely linked to the cause that we have mentioned above since, the fact of not having your space, your moments of disconnection, of not focusing on yourself to feel better as an individual, can cause the other person to feel suffocated and stressed with the relationship.
- Previous relationships: If your partner focuses too much or remembers too frequently your past relationships with other people or your past, it can become very overwhelming and tiring since you cannot live in the past or remember it at all times, we can only learn from it. he.
- Future plans: Having different plans for the future or planning and discussing them at all times can awaken this state. It is clear that we must consider our future and even more so when you are in a relationship and want to have it with that person, but above all, we must focus on the present and give importance to what we are experiencing with our partner at this precise moment. This will help you reflect on the future of your relationship.
Is it normal to get overwhelmed when starting a relationship?
Starting a relationship with a person is a difficult process that, at times, can overwhelm us since we face many situations that can become complicated. Getting to know a person in a deeper way requires time and dedication. In addition, the personal expectations that we place on a relationship must be real and must be in line with those of the person with whom we want to form a new relationship.
The common interests or individual values in a couple are usually quite similar, so if we are getting to know a person and they do not meet our expectations, we can become overwhelmed and disappointed. Being in a relationship normally requires dedicating time and attention to the other person, who give him a portion of the time that you used to spend on yourself. We are not referring to the fact that when you meet a person you have to stop doing everything that you like and that makes you happy, but rather that you begin to spend your time on other things, such as being with this person and making plans with them and change This dynamic or way of functioning can be stressful..
Is it normal to get overwhelmed with living together as a couple?
Living with a person is not always easy, we have to think that in the same home two people with different customs, different ways of thinking, behaving and different ways of seeing life come together. Living and sharing a house entails many responsibilities and tasks which, if they are not distributed equitably or certain agreements are not established, can lead to . Furthermore, the fact of living in a space as intimate as this one with another person can lead to having a reduced individual space, which is why, at times, it can become stressful or overwhelming.
These situations and discomforts can appear in the initial moments of coexistence since the two people They have to adapt to this new way of functioning, but it can also arise from having lived together for a long time. In any case, having good communication within the couple and being able to express your thoughts, your concerns, what bothers you and what you would like to improve to feel better, could help your partner understand you and change this situation. In this article we explain some.
What to do when a person is overwhelmed?
What to do when a man is overwhelmed? How can you help your girlfriend if she is overwhelmed? When your partner tells you that he/she is overwhelmed and the reason is you, we have to activate our alarms and see what we can change to be able to help our partner. Below, we propose different tips to try not to overwhelm your partner:
1. Respect your space
Give him time so he can breathe, think, reflect, disconnect and focus on himself. Sometimes, in moments of stress, it is very necessary for your partner to understand that you need your own space, to be able to approach the problem from a different perspective.
The couple may truly be invading their entire space and all of us need to maintain a balance between the different areas of life: work, family, partner, friends, leisure, self-care…
2. Be understanding
It is normal for us to get overwhelmed, it has happened to everyone at some point in life. For this reason, the first thing to recover your overwhelmed partner is to try to accept and understand what that person is going through and have empathy and sensitivity.
3. Improve your self-esteem and confidence in him/her
Jealousy can be a reason why your partner becomes overwhelmed since it is an issue that can weigh heavily on your relationship. Therefore, it is up to one to achieve trust and security in their partner that avoids situations of jealousy.
4. Not controlling your partner
Not controlling social networks or everything your partner does will provide many more benefits since your partner will feel freer, that you trust him/her more and you will leave him/her more room to improve. In a relationship there must be freedom, your partner must be able to be who they are and how they are. If you don’t like the way it is, then it will be difficult to have one.
5. Improve communication
It is the most basic pillar of every relationship. Having one during these moments will help you understand each other better and know what each one’s needs are.
6. Break the routine and experiment
Your partner may be overwhelmed by routine, daily activities and responsibilities. It is also important to know how to communicate when we feel this way and look for solutions. One of the solutions to win back your partner may be to break the routine and try new experiences. Below you will find a video on how to surprise your partner.
7. Assess if the stress is due to other factors
If you already respect his or her space, are understanding, do not control your partner and have good communication, he or she may not be overwhelmed by anything that has to do with you, but with him or her. You may feel overwhelmed because you have doubts about the relationship, because you are afraid of commitment, or because you have met someone else. We will not be able to know this unless our partner is totally sincere and honest with us.
If you are already acting in an empathetic and assertive way, It may be that the problem lies with the other person and that it is not up to you to change their burden.. If this burden lasts a long time and is not resolved, if you see that it does not depend on you and that your partner is not involved in the solution, perhaps it is time to consider it.
Being overwhelmed may be a common situation in our society, but we should not normalize this situation. We have to listen to each other and behave in a healthier and more assertive way to avoid becoming overwhelmed with our partners.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My partner is overwhelmed, what do I do?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Gottman, J.M., & Silver, N. (2012). Seven golden rules for living as a couple. An exhaustive study on relationships and coexistence. Madrid: Penguin Random House Grupo Editorial España.