You love your partner very much and you think that your relationship in general is satisfactory, but when he gets angry he sometimes insults you, what should you do in that case? In this Psychology-Online article we want to make some recommendations in this regard so that you know How to act if your partner insults you when he gets angry.
Why does my partner yell and insult me when we argue?
It is possible that on specific occasions one of the members of the couple behaves aggressively in an argument. When this happens, you may raise your voice or yell outright. Additionally, it may happen that you insult the other member during the dispute. Can we classify this behavior as normal in a relationship?
Although it is a behavior that may be common, It’s not normal in a healthy relationship.. Aggression can occur for different reasons: stress, poor management of emotions, frustration, disappointment… However, none of those reasons justify it.
Aggression encourages violence. That’s why it usually goes further. If you have entered into this dynamic, if in all or almost all discussions there are disqualifications or insults, it is a . It is important to seek the help of a professional who will assess whether the relationship has the possibility of getting back on track.
Why does a partner who loves you disrespect you?
A partner who loves you does not disrespect you. You can make mistakes and get carried away by your emotions at a specific moment, but respect should never be lost.
Sometimes we have the wrong idea of what love is. Love is not suffering, it is not belonging, it is not enduring. Healthy love is free and respectful. It should make you feel good. If your love is healthy, being with your partner will make you grow, you will add to each other, but you will never subtract.
We must be clear that love is not measured with words, but with actions. It is our actions that determine whether or not we love someone and not how many times we can say “I love you.”
It’s no use for your partner to give you gifts, hug you, kiss you, or be the best father or mother you can imagine if he constantly disrespects you. Whether it be yelling and insulting you, ridiculing you in some way or even ignoring you. Ignoring someone is also disrespectful, silent, but it is.
What to do when there is a lack of respect in a couple
When there is a lack of respect in the couple, it doesn’t hurt to try to talk calmly about what is happening. Tell your partner how you feel when he behaves like this. Ask him to modify that attitude. Explain to him what the limits are and do not tolerate him exceeding them.
Professional help can guide you in learning good communication. In the following article you can see. Also to manage emotions and express them in an appropriate way. To listen to others and express your feelings. To empathize.
Many times we think that disrespect is just insults, but there are many more. Let’s see some of them:
- Ridicule the couple. Whether it’s your physical appearance or your way of acting or thinking.
- The ironies and sarcasm.
- Withdraw attention. Refusing to look at the other person when they speak or not answering them.
- Ending a conversation by slamming a door, throwing objects, or breaking things.
- Non-verbal language: getting too close to intimidate, using your hands to point or make violent gestures, looking superior or in a defiant manner…
- Make criticisms seeking the pain of the other.
- Making fun of a partner’s weakness in private or public.
- Telling intimate things about the couple in front of other people.
- Shout.
- Underestimate their achievements.
- Etc
How to regain respect in a relationship
One of the most difficult things to recover in a relationship is respect and trust. When respect has been lost once, it usually escalates and this deteriorates the relationship, generating disappointment and resentment.
If certain insurmountable limits have not been crossed, it is possible to try to regain respect. If you try, it will be hard and continuous work, as well as constant and will require intervention of a professional to help you with couples therapy.
If certain limits have been crossed, it is best to end the relationship. Here we explain.
What to do when your partner constantly insults you
If your partner constantly insults you, you are in a toxic relationship that you should end sooner.
If you have already explained to him how it makes you feel when he insults you and he has continued to do so, there is not much more to do. Get out of that relationship. Do not minimize the importance of insults, do not consider them normal because they are not. Don’t settle for what you have. Don’t justify it, it has no justification.
Many people believe that they must remain in a toxic and destructive relationship because “it is what they have to do” or because they cannot support themselves financially, or because of the children, or because they believe that they will not be able to live without their partner. Do not be afraid. At the moment there are many media to help you. The transition period can be hard, the changes are hard, but it is the right thing for you and for your mental and probably physical health. Ask for help necessary to your family, friends or acquaintances. Psychological abuse is never justified.
Here you can see. If you need help, don’t hesitate to call.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My partner insults me when he gets angry: why and what do I do?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
Riso, W. (2014). To love or depend?: How to overcome emotional attachment and make love a full and healthy experience. Barcelona: Zenith