Although it is difficult for us to admit it, money can become a serious problem in a relationship. On one occasion I conducted an informal survey about this and 30% of people stated that it was important that their partner could offer them economic stability. Therefore, it could be said that it is one of the fundamental pillars in a relationship, along with other very important ones such as communication or affection.
Therefore, finding ourselves in the situation where one member of the couple does not want to share the money with the other can generate discomfort and mistrust, but what can we do to solve it? In this Psychology-Online article, we will explain 10 tips to avoid problems with your partner over money.
Know the economic situation of each one
Something important to keep in mind to avoid having problems with your partner about money is know the financial situation each. It may be that he doesn’t want to share his money with you because his salary is lower than yours and therefore he might think that he doesn’t have to.
Why do you want him to share his money?
Okay, we know he doesn’t want to share his money with you, but what’s the reason you want him to share his money? Why do you think that everything should belong to both of us and share it? Being able to convey a reason why you want him to share his money with you could make things easier.
Power struggle
Think if behind this need to share money there is hidden a power struggle in the relationship and money has become the means to demonstrate who is “wearing the pants.” Detecting this will be a great step to be able to face the problem from calm and serenity instead of from anger and imposition.
Talk about it with your partner
If it is important to you to share your partner’s money, let them know and explain what it means to you to share your finances, as well as how you would like to do so.
In this article you will find.
Know how you would like me to share it
There are different ways to share money with your partner, either through gifts or offerings or by sharing it in a joint account. In turn, sometimes conflict can be a consequence of you having a pre-established concept of what it means to share money and how you would like your partner to share it.
However, you should keep in mind that Maybe your partner thinks differently., with another concept in mind. In this case, it would be important for you to put on the table what each person expects and how to carry it out in order to reach an agreement.
Listen to why he doesn’t want to do it
It is as important that you can present your ideas and that he or she listens to them, as the opposite, being able to listen to their reasons for not doing it If you still think that way or know what your conditions are to be able to share your money.
Accept disagreement
It may be that even if you talk and explain why it is important to you to share the money, he or she still does not want to share it with you. In this case it will be necessary accept your decision and agree How are you going to function financially without him sharing his money with you. For example, knowing if each of you pays his or her own share when you go out to do activities outside, if one of the couple invites each day or what way you are going to do it.
On the other hand, in the case of , it is also important to agree on how bills and other household expenses will be paid so as not to harm coexistence.
Know how important it is to you
Consider the importance it has for you Being able to share money in a relationship is relevant to see if it is one of the main requirements for you in the relationship, and if this could question its long-term maintenance.
Make a common account
Perhaps a feasible solution could be creation of a common account in which both of you would deposit the same amount of money monthly or weekly for a common objective such as a trip, having a leisure fund, the purchase of a joint property or any other purpose that occurs to you.
Know other aspects
Know other aspects and areas that may be affected by your partner not sharing money with you and think about how to solve them, as well as find out if sharing money is the only solution It is to start to solve the conflict or if there is another possibility with which both of you can feel comfortable.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My partner doesn’t want to share his money with me, what do I do?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- De dios, S., 2019. Money and couple, a combination of care. The mind is wonderful. Recovered from: Money and couple, a combination of care – The Wonderful Mind
- Dema, S., 2008. One couple, two salaries. Money and power relationships in dual-income couples. Monographs Collection, 225 (1), 200-202.
- Guerri, M., 2021. How does money influence the relationship? Psychoactive. Recovered from: How does money influence the relationship? (psicoactiva.com)