For many people, life consists of living new experiences, trying new things, and, if you find yourself in a relationship, it is common that you want to share all these learnings and plans with him or her. In some cases, we may find ourselves in a situation where that person is not as willing as you to experiment and do different things that come out of your daily life, but what happens if we do not agree on this aspect?
In this Psychology-Online article we will explain some possible reasons for why your partner doesn’t make plans with youon how to propose them and different examples to do with your partner.
Why doesn’t my partner make plans with me?
It is interesting, before you can meet a person, that you can get to know yourself, know your tastes, your hobbies and what you want to dedicate your time to. You can also do this process of self-knowledge while you are in a romantic relationship.
If you are getting to know that person and you see that it is difficult to agree on plans or they are not very interested in making them, ask yourself if it is the result of his character and way of life life, if it is for other reasons or if he really doesn’t feel like sharing too many things with you.
It’s independent
If in your case it is the result of their character or way of living life and you are still getting to know each other, you should assess whether you really want to share a romantic relationship with that person, even without agreeing in that aspect, but sharing many other things. The most important thing is power speak it with respect, calmness and be able to look for intermediate points between the two. In relationships, balance must be found in most situations and, depending on what aspects, it is something more complex than it seems.
Here you will find .
Spending time with you is not his priority
If, on the other hand, your partner does not feel like sharing plans with you, you should delve deeper into talk about your present and future as a couple and about your needs. There is no estimated time, nor an average number of plans to make with your partner, simply, each situation adapts to the needs of each person and harmony must be found in joint experiences and individual experiences. If your partner really doesn’t want to do anything with you, the relationship doesn’t make sense. If you cannot spend quality time together or share experiences, perhaps it is time to seriously consider what the relationship gives us and if we really want to continue.
In this article we explain.
How to propose plans to my partner
If your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t propose plans, you can propose them. This way you can see her reactions to your proposals. But, remember that in a relationship both parties must contribute. The ideal would be for both of you to propose plans.. If your partner has few ideas for organizing plans, you can assume this role yourself, as long as your partner assumes another role, such as organizing the shopping while you plan the leisure part. Or any other function, but always achieving a balance and walking at the same level, without you having to “drag” him.
One of the main characteristics of a couple, normally, is knowing your tastes, hobbies, pastimes, etc. Depending on your free time, whether you have children or not, depending on your hobbies, etc., you can make a list of all the things you would like to do together once or several times a month (in the following section you will find different options for couples plans). For this, it is important give between the two to be able to find a balance and be more comfortable both within the relationship.
If your tastes are completely opposite and it is difficult for you to agree and implement a plan or activity, you can combine and make one or two plans that your partner likes more and one or two plans that you like more. You can also search for plans that you both want and/or get out of everyday life. The secret to making new plans with your partner is, basically, creativity, flexibility and letting yourself go.
Things to do as a couple
Things to do at home, plans as a couple without spending money, activities for couples, games… We leave you several ideas to inspire you. Since we could extend this point infinitely, below we show you a list of different plans to do as a couple:
- Attend cultural events: concerts, plays, cinemas, open-air shows, etc.
- Go once a week (or whatever is decided) to a restaurant or bar new.
- Visit museums from your city or the surrounding area.
- Go do sport on the beach and/or jointly enabled spaces.
- Plan and take a trip both or go on a rural getaway.
- Make a route or tour of your city (with a guide or on your own, discovering less-crowded and well-known corners).
- Make some course ceramics, painting, writing, or any other plastic art that you fancy.
- Cook recipes new ones at home and/or experiment with new tastings for your day-to-day menus.
- Make a film session at home.
- Perform manual activities at home or in a city park. If you have children, try these.
- Play boardgames with friends.
- Go visit the towns from the surroundings of the city.
- Gonna Have a trip around the mountain and/or go by bike.
- Go to the beach for a walk or to relax.
- Make a Photo album with beautiful photos that you have lost on your mobile or even do a photo session.
Here you will find other ideas: .
If even putting into practice the advice that we have detailed above, the situation with your partner does not seem to change, we recommend that you put yourself in the hands of a professional Specialized in couple therapy so that I can help you find the origin of the problem and how to treat and manage it.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Liberman, R. P. (1995). Couples Therapy Handbook: A Positive Approach to Helping Troubled Relationships. Bilbao: Desclee de Brouwer.