As we well know, it is very difficult to face a situation where a person whom we love so much and more when it is our mother, has an illness as serious as cancer. So if you find yourself reading this article and facing this very difficult situation, I can imagine the sadness and despair that you must be feeling right now since this type of illness not only affects the person who suffers from it but also everyone around them. .
If you really want to help your mother, you need to stay informed about the ways you can do it. This is why in an article in Psychology-Online: My mother has cancer, how can I help her? We are going to provide you with a series of useful tips so that you can achieve this.
How to deal with a mother’s cancer
You need to know that there are a series of reactions that are considered normal after your loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, in this case your mother and of course you have found out about it, either because you have been with her in the moment of diagnosis or because she told you afterwards. It is the discipline in charge of studying both the emotional manifestations of the sick and their families.
Some of the most common reactions in family members are the following:
- Angercourage, anger.
- Sensation of lose control of the situation and of life itself since it is something that you never expected could happen to your mother.
- Uncertainty when not knowing exactly what is going to happen.
- Loneliness.
- Sadness.
- They may appear sleep disturbanceseither because you can’t sleep or you start sleeping too much.
- Huge feelings of helplessness and failure.
- Distress
- Despair
- Intrusive thoughts: Excessive worry can lead to recurring thoughts about your responsibility in the situation, such as “Why has this happened to our family?” “Is my mother going to get better quickly?” either “My mother has cancer, how can I help her?“For all this, it is important that you relax your mind and remember that your role in this process is to support and offer love to your mother.
How to help family members with cancer
It is perfectly normal that you feel that fear takes over you and that you cannot do anything to remedy it, however you should know that even though your mother’s illness itself is not in your hands, there are things you can do to help her. It is scientifically proven that people who have sufficient support and love have fewer difficulties in life.
My mother has cancer: how can I help her?
Below, we offer you some tips on how to help a person with cancer, in this case, your mother:
- Inform you about the disease. It is necessary that you stay fully informed about your mother’s diagnosis, that is, the type of cancer she has, the special care she must receive, how her treatment will be carried out, among other extremely important aspects for her care. physical and emotional.
- Focus on the present. Because, as we know, most cancer treatments are usually long, it is necessary not to be worried all the time about “what is going to happen?” and be focused on the future. We must remember that the only thing we all have that is truly secure is the present and we must learn to live moment by moment. Being worried about the future will only make you and your mother spend all your time suffering for something that hasn’t happened yet and you don’t know if it will happen.
- Positive attitude. I understand that it seems very easy to say, however it is necessary to make an effort at all times, since the state of mind greatly influences the immune system. On the contrary, if you experience hopelessness, anger, sadness all the time, your mother will easily perceive it and will experience it that way too. Make an effort to project that encouragement and joy that she needs right now.
- Patience and active listening. On more than one occasion your mother will need to vent and express what she is feeling since it will not be easy for her to find herself in that state. Therefore, it is necessary that patience and active listening reign in her relationship, which will make her feel more understood and supported during the disease process.
- Love. It is essential that the treatment you have towards your mother is full of affection and affection. Although sometimes she can make you desperate, whether due to her bad attitude, the fact that she is angry all the time, etc. She tries to put you in her place and understand that if she acts that way it is because what she is experiencing is very hard for her. On the contrary, do not respond to her provocations and dedicate yourself to treating her with respect and affection, this will help little by little to improve her mood as well.
How to help the family of a cancer patient
If you are feeling right now that the situation is getting out of your hands, you are having an extremely bad time and you can’t find a way to improve it, you need to ask for help. Asking for help doesn’t make you less braveOn the contrary, it is normal and understandable that you may need it, especially if it is a situation as delicate as the one you are experiencing with your mother. By this I mean that you ask for help of the type you need, for example if your mother requires certain special care, look for information about the help offered by the health system or other types of organizations, if it is an emotional issue and you need the support of other people, stay close to your family and friends at all times.
How to psychologically treat the cancer process to accept it
On the other hand, it is also necessary to mention that you can always go to psychological therapy, there is a discipline within the area of psychology called “thanatology” that can be of great help to you. Thanatology will help you live the disease process with your mother in the best possible way. You could even suggest that she attend so that she can learn to cope better with the process.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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