There are cases of mothers who do not understand why their adult daughter rejects them and wonder what to do to reverse this situation and create a new, kinder and more affectionate relationship with her. To understand this situation, it is necessary to be clear that we must embark on a deep path of personal self-criticism, recognition and acceptance of the mistakes made in our upbringing. It is not an easy path, but the end result compensates for any suffering that the path may cause us.
In the next Psychology-Online article, we will talk about why my adult daughter rejects me and what to doproviding advice to stop this painful relationship and clarifying how rejection can be overcome if, apparently, there does not seem to be a solution.
Why does my adult daughter reject me?
You should look for the reasons why your adult daughter rejects you in the context of the childhood experiences your daughter had and, especially, those in which you were directly involved.
The personality of the human being, his fears, phobias, manias and beliefs are forged, mainly, during the first 6 years of life. During this period, children spend most of their time with their families. Thus, the relationship, experiences and experiences that occurred during this stage in the family context They will make up a good part of this infant’s adult personality. Find out what the are.
If you are worried because your daughter is rejecting you and you would like to reverse the situation, it is important that you mentally ask yourself the following questions:
- In what context did you raise your daughter?
- What attention did you give it?
- How did you treat her in relation to her siblings?
- To what extent was it listened to and accepted?
- How were you supported in your moments of crisis?
- How was the birth of your daughter? (cesarean section, with forceps, normal birth, premature birth, etc.)
All of these factors mentioned influence the training and personal development of your daughter, providing her with a certain level of resilience, confidence in herself, in others and in life, among many other factors that make up the human personality.
Therefore, to fully understand what your daughter experienced that led her to this situation of rejection, you must keep in mind that one thing is to objectively analyze the situations that you can remember and another thing is to approach it from the way in which she lived them. When wondering why my adult daughter rejects me, ask her directly about the matter. Surely she herself will explain to you what situations and events generated this rejection towards you.
What to do when your adult daughter rejects you
If you want to constructively address the situation of your own daughter rejecting you, it will be important to take into account the causes mentioned above. Beneath all that resentment and rejection towards you, your daughter may be experiencing great disappointment and sadness for not having obtained from you what she needed at a certain moment in her life.
From here, we show you different ways to positively address this situation:
- Perform a personal self-criticism and recognize the extent to which your behavior provoked these ideas of contempt in your daughter’s mind, even if it was unconsciously.
- Ask for forgiveness: it is a very brave behavior that will allow you to relieve their negative emotional burden and calm their soul. In this article you will find more information about .
- Ask him what he needs right now: To the extent possible, offer these priceless gifts with love and humility.
- Help her understand that she is no longer a girl: Tell her that you are sorry for everything she experienced and happened, but that she is now an adult woman and, if you both try with all your might, you can build a new relationship based on trust and mutual affection from your current maturity.
- Help him reflect on his behavior: It is important that your daughter, once supported and accompanied, understands that she herself contributed to maintaining this hostile relationship by acting defiantly against you, making it difficult for you to approach her. If she manages to be aware of this, she herself will ask for forgiveness for treating you badly and rejecting you. This attitude will bring you closer and will help create new bonds of cordial union between you.
How to overcome a daughter’s rejection
The advice described in the previous section on what to do when your adult daughter rejects you can help you reconcile with her and create a new relationship based on affection and cordial union. However, the task is arduous and complicated, so there could be the case in which either you and/or your daughter fail to open your heart and accept with repentance and sincerity all the pain that each of you has poured out on the other.
Faced with this situation of rejection and the unpleasant consequences that this experience has for both of us, we encourage you to follow these recommendations on how to overcome a daughter’s rejection:
- Commit to being critical of yourself: internally recognize your part of responsibility in the current situation. Even if your daughter is not in the process of healing the relationship, you can do a lot on your part and this action is a fundamental part that will allow you to see your daughter with different eyes and understand her dysfunctional functioning.
- Be understanding with her: Understands that his behavior is due to the personal beliefs he created regarding his relationship with you. This compassionate attitude will distance you from the victimhood with which you act and will allow you to approach her with a closer, affable and cordial treatment. Your own change, even if it is very little by little, will produce an inner change in your daughter that will bring her closer to you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Voli, F. (2010). Communication with our elderly parents: Coexistence manual for adult children. Musivisual.