Some men going through the midlife crisis experience fantasies about young girls, about starting a new life, about “freedom,” etc. At that age, the person begins to see the end of their life closer and closer, which can generate anxiety or panic attacks and thoughts related to the fact that there is little time left to do those things that they have always wanted to do and have not been able to do. . Thoughts or behaviors such as those explained above are superficial and constitute a waste of time and energy.
With patience, help and self-exploration, the person can restructure their life, adapting to the evolutionary stage they are in to achieve greater satisfaction. In this Psychology-Online article we explain the Symptoms and treatment of the midlife crisis in men.
Some of the signs that may indicate that a man is experiencing a midlife crisis are:
- Be between 40 and 50 years old
- Not feeling comfortable with some main elements in life: work, love relationship, health… and feeling the need to take measures to improve those aspects.
- Believing that there is no time to change direction and that it is necessary to make changes immediately.
- Realizing that your physical appearance has changed or that your resistance has decreased significantly
- The children are older
- People close to us and of close ages begin to die.
- Make unusual decisions.
Men can go through this kind of “teenage rebellion” at that time in their lives. They feel trapped and try to escape in different ways:
- Drinking more alcohol
- Having a love affair being a
- abandoning his family
- Feeling like your life is ending
- Being more concerned about your appearance
- Having more desire to experience new emotions
However, it is important to comment that not all men Those who have some of these symptoms have a midlife crisis.
Some men with the midlife crisis experience the following aspects and emotions:
They perceive life as an endless burden
Some men have not resolved very important personal issues throughout their lives, such as dependency needs, doubts about their masculinity, unrealistic ambitions, and worry or anxiety about caring for or supporting their family. Some even feel like impostors, waiting to be discovered at any moment. Others avoid or delay “growing up,” as if being a child is the only way one can feel truly happy and fulfilled in life.
Adult life can be understood as all work and no play, or as a necessary sacrifice to provide children with a carefree life. However, there are many “adult” satisfactions available, such as loving relationships, work challenges, learning opportunities, friendships, etc. One of the treatment goals could be to perceive the adult world and its satisfactions as something positive, that is, learning to enjoy and appreciate adult life as a gift.
Pending issues
As we reach the middle of an objectively “good” life, some feelings that have remained hidden come to light. Since these emotions are experienced in the present, it is difficult to understand that these reactions could stem from past conflicts.
An example of the emergence of unfinished business could be a man who in his childhood has not felt loved. Throughout his life he tries to compensate for those feelings by striving to achieve success as a husband, father, and professional. However, the feelings of his childhood emerge and undermine their current sense of security.
One theory suggests that these feelings of inadequacy ironically arise at a time when the man has finally reached a point in his life where he is strong enough to “face” those emotions. These men may benefit from psychological counseling.
Unrealistic expectations
Some men have been pursuing, throughout their lives, dreams, illusions or unrealistic expectations set in motion before reaching adulthood. And throughout their lives, these dreams have been discarded or broken.
Give up on a dream It can cause pain and anxiety, it is difficult to let go of something you have pursued for many years. Viewing life as a challenging and evolving reality that requires personal growth is a perspective that is at odds with many of our simple and immature fantasies. However, it is a useful perspective especially in this period of midlife.
The need to continue forward
When a man thinks about leaving his family or job, he may try to avoid confrontation thinking that the situation will improve somehow. Moving forward with such important life changes is often avoided due to insecurity, fear of hurting others, lack of courage or fear of being alone. These feelings often delay decisions. Therefore, whether psychological or biological in origin, many men experience age-related concerns that feel like personal crises. These crises usually denote the beginning of a transition and the need for a man to reinvent or redefine himself.
Many people understand the midlife crisis as an isolated negative event. But the reality is that it can become a family crisis, even affecting the children. To avoid reaching these extremes, there are some tips that you can follow to paralyze the crisis at 40:
Put more energy in the marriage relationship
After many years of marriage, it may be natural for couples to distance themselves emotionally, even separating. The probability of this occurring may be increased during the mid-life crisis in married men. Therefore, it is essential that during this time, the couple seeks to do new things to revitalize the relationship.
Get fit
Men who experience depression and self-esteem problems related to their midlife crisis could benefit from eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. These make them feel better about themselves.
Look forward
One of the most common symptoms of a midlife crisis is longing for the time when you were younger and for past loves. While it’s normal to look back fondly on such events, it’s unhealthy to let these thoughts overtake current relationships. It is advisable to do special plans for the future and focus on all the amazing things that are in the present. In this way, we will be able to.
Talk to other men
Sometimes men can find comfort in talking to other men of the same age. Talk openly about your thoughts and feelings It’s not natural for all men, but doing so can help people experiencing a crisis feel less isolated and better about themselves.
Get advice
The treatment programs for midlife crisis help men and their families through this phase. The therapist will help improve communication between the man and his wife and children, and see how his actions affect the people around him. Marriage counseling can also provide solutions to the challenges men in their 40s and 50s face.