Jealousy is a feeling that can appear throughout our lives in different relationships, such as family relationships with siblings, couple relationships, and friendships. These usually manifest when we detect that the relationship is threatened by another person. When we establish a friendship with someone we give that person a privileged place in our life, we care about their opinion, what happens to them and we try to be by their side, if at any point we fear for the bond created, jealousy may appear. In this Psychology-Online article we want to explain why jealousy happens between friends and how to avoid it.
Signs of jealousy in friendship
How do I know if my friend is jealous? Next we will see how to detect jealousy in friendship:
Comparisons
The friend next to you constantly compares himself to you, you detect that if you start an activity he or she will also want to do it, even though they have previously said that they did not like it. Everything in the relationship is like that, everything you do is compared to something of theirs, it seems that They are never happy about what you get but behind every joy there is a comparison.
Anger or discomfort
Another very clear sign of jealousy is constant anger when the part that is jealous detects that the other person is doing something where perhaps don’t have it as a priority, such as meeting another friend or making a plan without the other person. He feels as if this fact was a betrayal of his friendship and he gets angry about it.
Rivalry
Perhaps the comparisons go further and a feeling of rivalry with your friend arises. This rivalry can be a reason for jealousy, since when you label someone as a rival, the relationship is then based on competing with each other. When one of the friends considers that the other has won, that is when jealousy appears. If you detect that your friend is not happy about your achievements and always try to do the same as you But it also seems that he puts a lot of effort into making his things better and gets angry or upset when this doesn’t happen, it could be a sign of jealousy.
Imitation
Another thing that can indicate that the person is jealous is imitation. If they detect that the bond with you is unstable, one of the ways they can find to reinforce it is imitation. If they are more like you, that bond may be strengthened. The fact of detecting that someone is forcing acceptance It can be a reason for distancing the other party, since remember that the friendship was created because the other person also detected something in you that they liked.
Why does jealousy happen between friends?
Why is your friend jealous of you? Next we will see what jealousy is due to:
Privilege
When a friendship is born, you give that person a privileged place in your life and you hope that this person does the same. Even so, each person has different ways of showing that a person is important in their life. Maybe the way the other person shows it doesn’t make you feel special and that arouses jealousy because you think that you are not in the same position.
Idealization
Another reason why a person may be jealous is because they have idealized the person next to them. When you idealize, without realizing it and unconsciously, you put yourself in an inferior place to the other person who should be an equal. This fact can trigger feelings of less worth and inferiority, which are often the root of jealousy.
Lack of self confidence
The person who is very insecure about themselves may be more susceptible to jealousy, since their low self-esteem It can lead her to constantly see threats in her friendship relationship. Not valuing yourself means that you do not have enough confidence to feel that your qualities, attributes and way of being may seem like a source of happiness to another person, because you yourself are not capable of believing in yourself.
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How to overcome jealousy between friends
To avoid jealousy between friends and, if it occurs, handle it correctly, we can follow these tips:
Trust in your own qualities
As mentioned above, one of the main reasons for jealousy is a lack of self-confidence. It is important that, for another person to see you as a priority in their life, you consider yourself a person to prioritize. If you are always undervaluing yourself, it is the image that you can convey to the other person. Remember that human relationships are like a mirror: on many occasions, we receive the same thing that we transmit. In this article we talk about and here you can find .
speak openly
It is important that when these types of feelings appear you can talk about them with the other person, talk and recognize how you feel It is a very brave act but also the beginning of the solution, perhaps seeing the other person’s opinion helps you see that there is no reason to worry about your relationship. Furthermore, by talking about it, agreements can be reached so that, if jealousy occurs again on other occasions, we can act quickly. Remember that communication is the basis of every relationship. In this article we explain.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Fisher, H. (2004). Why we love. Taurus Publishing House, Alfagura