Many couples when starting a relationship ask themselves if they are dedicating enough time to each other or if they see each other too frequently and that is going to make them lose their desire. In short, when starting out and being with someone there can always be a fear behind it, asking if what we are doing helps us grow and strengthen the relationship or on the contrary it is slowly putting out the fire. In this Psychology-Online article we want to cover one of the topics that sometimes generates the most doubts among couples: how much time to dedicate to the couple, how much time can be separated and How often is it normal to see your partner?.
Is it necessary to talk to your partner every day?
Communication is the fundamental basis of a couple, in addition, nowadays, with the appearance of instant messaging, it becomes much easier to maintain more constant communication with your partner. This fact has been a source of conflict for many couples, since if you don’t talk to your partner when communication is so easy, it is because you don’t want to. To do this, it is necessary to previously establish how you are going to handle this whole issue of instant messaging or calls from the beginning of the relationship, to avoid possible future misunderstandings.
The most logicalwith the facilities provided today, is that there is daily communication However brief it may be, perhaps all you need is a “good morning” or “have a good day” to make yourself available to your partner if something happens and a “how’s your day” at the end of it. It doesn’t have to be constant communication throughout the day, but it does have to be a show up available to the couple and communicate when you have to be absent.
How often is it normal to see your partner?
Every couple is a world and each one must establish when it will be seen approximately. It is important that at the beginning of the relationship you talk openly about how often you like to see your partner to see how compatible you are on this issue. It is normal that at the beginning of the relationship, with falling in love and establishing the bond, you see each other more frequently than perhaps when you have been together for a while. Even so, it may happen that due to the pace of work and its routine we find that our partner can dedicate less time to us than we would like and this is when we come into conflict with our partner.
Is it normal that he wants to see me only on weekends?
Like everything in life, the reason for this situation must be assessed:
- Maybe it’s a matter of lack of time due to his busy schedule during his day-to-day life during the week and the feeling that if he cannot dedicate quality time to you he would prefer not to see you.
- It may also be because the person gets overwhelmed quickly and he prefers to continue with his routine before you showed up and still doesn’t seem ready to modify it.
What to do about it? Depending on the circumstances that are leading the person to make the decision to see you only on weekends, this request is normal. Even so, if you do not agree with this meeting proposal you must:
- Talk to your partner regarding the conflict caused by being alone on weekends and listen to what the other person tells you about it. Explain what concerns this generates for you in an assertive way and pay attention to the other person’s response. In this article we explain.
- Assess the situation why your partner suggests you only meet on the weekends, try to also put yourself in their shoes when doing this exercise and try to see how the other person is asking you for this. Once you have assessed your point of view and tried to understand theirs, assess whether the situation compensates you and makes you happy or whether this fact represents too big a stone in the way.
Is it normal that he only wants to see me on weekends or every 15 days?
Another thing to evaluate regarding the time your partner dedicates to you is if there have been changes in this, that is, before you saw each other a lot more but now it seems that the weekends are enough and if it is every 15 days nothing happens either.
- Maybe your partner has the feeling that everything has become too routine and need this time among you to miss you and not more.
- It is also necessary to assess the work stress and if there have been changes in this that may have affected the relationship.
It is true that seeing your partner every 15 days if you live relatively close to each other is a phenomenon that is increasingly occurring due to the type of ties that are established, but if it has not occurred from the beginning it can be a indicator that something between you is not quite working completely and you cannot hide from any external stimulus (family problems, times of many changes, etc.).
What to do about it? In this situation it is important:
- Listen to what your body tells you Regarding this topic, what feelings are awakened in you when you think that your partner dedicates time to you every 15 days and when you listen to their arguments about it.
- If this makes you uncomfortable, you must act and communicate to the other person what you feel regarding the time invested in you.
- reach agreements. In life you must find balance and if for you what is proposed does not help your balance, you must negotiate with your partner so that you can both agree on the time you invest in each other.
- It is also important detect why Your partner only wants to dedicate the time he dedicates to you and if this is an indicator that the other person is like that or there has been a general change in the attitude of the relationship. If this is the case, confront the situation and remember sometimes it is better to let go than to hold on to something that does not make us happy. In this article you will find.
How much time is healthy to dedicate to your partner?
The healthiest thing there can be in a couple are agreements. So depending on each couple, these will be one or the other. The healthy time to dedicate to someone is up to you, since there are couples who live together, so they see each other every day of the week and that doesn’t mean we see or think that they have an obsession with each other. The healthy time to dedicate to your partner is that in which make your partner feel like a priority in your life but at the same time you have time to do your tasks/duties and to see your social environment, friends, family, go out for a drink with co-workers.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Morfa, J.D. (2003). Prevention of relationship conflicts. Brouwer’s Desclée