It is inevitable that, at times, conflicts arise with those we interact with on a daily basis, especially when there are interests involved. These situations may test your character and ability to resolve conflicts.
Sometimes we feel that the problems may be bigger than ourselves and we cannot face them. On the other hand, we try to resolve external conflicts and we end up affected, many times, without obtaining a solution. This happens because we do not handle the problem assertively.
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Knowing how to manage conflicts is part of good emotional intelligence. In addition, conflicts can be avoided if measures are taken early, such as in an argument, to diffuse anger and facilitate communication. To do this, we can apply a series of mediation strategies.
In an environment in which different people with different profiles interact, the emergence of problems is probably inevitable, therefore the ideal is to be prepared to face them and resolve them in the most fruitful way possible.
According to CNN, The best way to resolve a conflict is to face it openly, calmly and respectfully, since this improves the possibilities of reaching agreements that benefit both parties. Therefore, we will explain some key tools to avoid and resolve differences before they become complex conflicts. For this we will require patience and, in some cases, changing behaviors or limiting beliefs that we have deeply ingrained.
- Keep calm: Although it often does not seem easy, what leads to conflict is the escalation of anger. () Most of us stop listening to understand as we get angry, that is, we start listening to argue. It is essential to remain calm to manage a conflict well and it helps to adopt a global and temporal perspective.
- Listen to understand: The only way to solve a problem is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying. and try to understand why or why he says it, in an empathetic way. It must always be done from active listening, which involves showing obvious physical and verbal signs that you understand what the other is saying, until the other person has let off steam and begins to calm down.
- Accentuate the positive: It is important to find some common ground, or create it, between yourself and the person. Showing empathy and a positive attitude puts people at ease immediately. The key here is also to help people understand our perspective on the topic without offending or remaining defensive.
- Attack the problem and not the person: It is important to try to depersonalize our comments as much as possible and focus only on the issue or problem. Instead of accusing the person with “it’s all your fault,” it’s better to say, “let’s look at why it keeps happening.”
- Focus on the future, not the past: In the present and in the future is where the solution is. Instead of focusing on what went wrong or what the other person did, what we should do is look at how we solve the problem.
- Ask the right type of questions: It is normal that in the midst of conflict doubts arise about the reason for the situation or the actions of other people. This may indicate that we are on the defensive and in interrogation mode, thus increasing the annoyance of both parties. Remember that it is important to find a solution to the problem and not emphasize blame.
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Sometimes conflict management can become a long and arduous process. It requires two people to remain in an uncomfortable, potentially conflictual position for a long time, to rebuild trust and be creative while trying to find the best solution rather than the quickest.
Managing some conflicting feelings may also be difficult or the other person may not want to find a solution, but it will all be part of the process. Once solved, it will be good to congratulate each other and somehow celebrate the success in solving the problem.
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