Self-confidence is one of the most important and most noticeable characteristics in people. This characteristic has a great effect on how we behave with others and on the results we obtain from the activities we carry out in our daily lives.
It is quite likely that you know and have some insecure person around you or that you yourself are that person. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about insecure people: characteristics and how to treat them. So, keep reading to discover what the different characteristics of insecure people are, the causes that can make a person be or become insecure, and how to deal with someone with these types of characteristics.
Why are there insecure people?
If you wonder why there are insecure people, the causes of a person’s insecurity can be divided into two types:
- Genetics: the characteristics of our personality have a certain genetic basis. Thus, genetics is one of the causes of insecure people. If we have an insecure family member, it is more likely that we will end up developing this personality trait.
- Atmosphere: what we experienced in our childhood and adolescence is essential for the development of our personality in adulthood. If we have suffered situations in which our reference people constantly told us that we were useless, that we were worthless or that we were not going to go far, it is quite likely that these messages ended up becoming part of us and became our way of life. in which we perceive ourselves. This could also occur in an overprotective environment in which we were not given the confidence to do things for ourselves.
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Characteristics of insecure people
What are insecure people like? The characteristics of insecure people could be divided into three groups:
- Cognitive characteristics: refer to thoughts. As we mentioned in the previous section, it is quite common for a person to think of themselves as useless. On many occasions, thoughts are also directed toward anticipating a catastrophic future, for example: “if I say something I will surely make a fool of myself and they will think very badly of me.” In this article, we tell you.
- Physiological characteristics: Insecure people tend to be quiet and try not to attract attention. Their gaze is usually downward and their posture is hunched over. It is quite common for insecure people to have anxiety-related symptoms. These symptoms would include hyperventilation, excessive sweating, increased heart rate, tremors, etc. On the other hand, hypersensitivity can also occur in which the person suffering from insecurity cries constantly.
- Behavioral symptoms: Insecure people will avoid any situation that is not one hundred percent safe. For example, they will not attend events where they are exposed to other people’s judgment, such as meeting new people, giving a lecture, presenting a work in class, etc. Because of that same insecurity, they have little aversion to risk. Therefore, it will be difficult for them to change jobs, even if their working conditions could improve, it will be difficult for them to take the step to start a relationship, it will be very difficult for them to take the step of moving, etc.
How to deal with insecure people
As we have seen throughout the article, it is very difficult for insecure people to take the initiative. One way we can help them is by taking the first step when establishing contact or starting a conversation.
If you’re asking how to deal with insecure people, this is very helpful. highlight the achievements they are achieving and that they realize that, sometimes, making a decision without knowing the result in advance can bring benefits. Encouraging him to do so is also an option. When giving criticism, it is important to tell them only one mistake at a time and try to accompany it with a virtue they have. In this way, they will not feel that “they do everything wrong.”
And, how to help insecure people? Have empathy, But don’t play into their game. He will have distorted thoughts and will give you a multitude of reasons why it is useless or why he should not make a certain decision. Let him know that you understand his reasons for discomfort but also reflect other more realistic and less harmful alternative thoughts.
Even if you follow these guidelines, it is important that Don’t take too much responsibility for their insecurity.. You can help, but overcoming this insecurity depends on the person who has it. Don’t let helping others end up making you feel guilty or bad about yourself. In this article, you will see.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
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- Simpson, J. A., & Rholes, W. S. (2017). Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships. Current opinion in psychology, 13, 19-24.