A bond of friendship in which sexual relations are shared without the commitment of a traditional romantic relationship is what generally characterizes “friends with benefits” relationships. This type of relationship usually becomes a more intimate one (romantic relationship), or a less intimate one (regular friendship). Of course, the direction will depend on the will of its members, and the challenge arises when the results each person expects do not coincide.
Recently, a team of researchers sought to find out how friends with benefits progress and what factors could help the relationship end up where each person intended (Machia et al., 2020.
Methodology
To find out, they carried out an online survey in which 192 people who at the time of responding were in a “friends with benefits” relationship participated. They were all evaluated during an initial survey in which they were asked, among other things, how they expected the relationship to evolve: to become a friendship, a romantic relationship, to dissipate completely or to remain the same.
Results
Analyzing the survey results, the team of researchers found that:
- 48% of people expected their “friends with benefits” relationship to stay the same;
- 25% expected it to develop into a romantic relationship;
- 12% wanted to transition to a regular, sexless friendship
- 4% expected the relationship to disappear completely.
Approximately 10 months later, a follow-up survey was conducted in which they were asked how their “friends with benefits” relationship had evolved. The authors found that such relationships rarely evolved as the subjects expected: only 17% of the evolutions coincided with what people expected at the beginning of the research. Within this 17%:
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- 59% of people who expected the relationship to become a future friendship achieved it.
- Only 15% of those who wanted a future romance achieved it. Within this group, the participants who were most likely to end up in romantic relationships with their “friend with benefits” were those who scored higher on sexual commitment, friendship commitment, commitment to the “friend with benefits,” relationship satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction. friendship and communication of friendship. They were also more likely to report that they agreed with their partner about desiring a romantic relationship.
A lack of reported communication between relationship members was linked to a greater likelihood of the relationship dissipating completely, suggesting that if people want to remain in any type of relationship, communication is crucial. According to the authors, it may be even more important in this type of relationships where there is no cultural script that guides them to define roles and trajectory (Vanderdrift et al., 2011).
The authors conclude that aligned expectations and communication were essential for friends with benefits to evolve into a traditional romantic relationship.
Bibliographic reference:
- Machia, L.V., Proulx, M.L., Ioerger, M., & Lehmiller, J.J. (2020). A longitudinal study of friends with benefits relationships. In Personal Relationships (Vol. 27, Issue 1, pp. 47-60). https://doi.org/
- Vanderdrift, L.E., Lehmiller, J.J., & Kelly, JR. (2011). The role of communication in “friends with benefits” relationships. In PsycEXTRA Dataset. https://doi.org/
Fountain: