Due to the current pace of life, we tend to spend a lot of time at our workplace. For this reason, deeper feelings tend to arise for our colleagues, since they become people we see very often and, in many situations, they serve as support to us.
As they say, “touch makes love” and it is normal for you to have doubts about what to do to win over a co-worker or how to know if this person likes you. Therefore, in this Online Psychology article, we offer you a series of tips to put into practice if you wonder what to do if I like a coworker.
How to tell your coworker that you like him
Taking the step of telling a coworker that you like him is a complicated decision, since you run the risk of not being reciprocated and subsequently feeling uncomfortable in his presence. Therefore, you may be wondering “How do I know if a coworker likes me?”
The safest way to carry out this task consists of the following steps:
- Show attention to the person you like in order to identify possible signs that that person is also interested in you.
- Weigh pros and cons to declare ourselves to our co-worker.
- Consider the personal situation and/or family member of the coworker we like, since there are cases in which attraction arises between married coworkers.
- Take into account company policy about relationships between co-workers.
- ask him out outside the workplace to create a more intimate environment that facilitates the declaration, when you have made the decision to tell him that you like him. For example, offer to go for coffee.
- Accept the decision from your co-worker. If you were not reciprocated, have a conversation to maintain cordiality and confidentiality in the workplace.
How to know if a coworker is interested in you
You might think “my coworker is looking for me.” If this is your case, you should know that there are different signs that can let us know if a coworker is interested in you. It is very important that you pay attention to small details, since sometimes they are very subtle signs. Some of the most palpable signs are:
- Attention: if he pays more attention to you than the rest of his classmates. This attention can manifest itself through details such as bringing you a coffee or talking to you in a private chat.
- Privacy: if he often asks you about aspects of your private life, in order to learn more about your personal situation. This is a key sign that he is interested in knowing more about you.
- Trivial topics: if he uses banal topics to create a conversation and spend time with you. This can take place both in person and virtually.
- Closeness: if he constantly seeks to be close to you. For example, when there is a meeting, lunch or company party and he tries to sit next to you.
- Eye contact: sometimes the eyes speak for themselves. The fact that he looks for your gaze or that he simply looked at you to contemplate you is a sign that he likes you or attracts you. The looks with a coworker are a factor to take into account to know if a coworker is interested in you.
- Smiles: if he smiles at you for no apparent reason, solely to establish a complicit bond.
- Extra-work activities: if you propose plans that are not linked to work, such as meeting for dinner, having a coffee or going to an exhibition together.
- Ambiguity: if he speaks or has unclear details to express a message that can be read between the lines, when out of fear or shame he does not dare to show what he feels.
- Appearance: if you dress up or start taking care of your image, for example, wearing new clothes or using perfume.
- Offers: if he offers to help you repeatedly. For example, if he offers to take you home, help you do some work, or simply buy you a coffee.
What to do to win over a co-worker
Many times we think that it is the other person who should take the first step, but that is a serious mistake, since if you are interested in something you must fight for it. Therefore, we encourage you to read our article. These tips must be adapted to the person you want to conquer, their tastes, interests and personality, in order to achieve the best results in starting the conquest.
If you want to know how to drive a coworker crazy, we recommend you consult our post: . However, below are strategies that you can put into practice to win over this person:
- Control fear. The fact of being able to face something that does not scare us makes us stronger and reduces the feeling of fear. Thinking that we can be rejected creates this emotion and limits our actions. Therefore, the first step is to identify what scares us so we can work on it. If you want to know what to do if you like a coworker, controlling your fear is the key.
- Smile. Seductive and friendly smiles are a key tool in conquest, since they generate a pleasant atmosphere. Additionally, a sense of humor is also important.
- Make knowing looks. Seeking the other’s gaze helps create a visual link that allows the other person to understand our intentions. This is essential to drive a co-worker crazy: playing with the expression of their gaze.
- Take care of yourself. It is important that we dedicate time to taking care of ourselves, eating healthily and sleeping well, in order to show a well-groomed appearance and show our best version.
- Demonstrate security. Showing yourself as a self-confident person with a defined personality has been shown to be more attractive.
- Stay out of work. Try to maintain contact outside of work through private conversations or suggesting interesting plans to do alone. This is one of the most important tips on the list of tips on what to do to win over a coworker.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Huaman Pumasupa, V., & Solano Puma, RE (2016). Influence of interpersonal relationships between coworkers on the organizational climate of the Aceros Arequipa corporation, during the second semester, Arequipa, 2015. Available at: http://repositorio.unsa.edu.pe/handle/UNSA/3707
- Liberman, D. (1956). Projective identification and marital conflict. Journal of Psychoanalysis, 13(1), 1-20. Available at: https://pep-web.org/browse/document/REVAPA.013.0001A