A person may be surrounded by people, yet feel alone and emotionally disconnected from others. The desire to establish ties is part of the social nature of human beings. There may be stages of uncertainty and disorientation in which a person does not fully enjoy opportunities for meetings and plans.
In this Psychology-Online article we reflect on this question: “I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere: what do I do?”. This situation of personal search that may take you to the plane of otherness, in reality, also has a lot to tell you about yourself.
Why do I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere? 4 causes
Each personal story is unique, for this reason, if you find yourself in a stage of this type, it is recommended that you reinforce your introspection to find your answer. What are the reasons why a person can experience this type of sensation?
1. A moment of change and search
There are stages of evolution and transformation. Cycles in which the known scenario acquires a different vision because the protagonist considers alternatives in his lifestyle that he had not valued until then. New questions arise, the need to find new answers arises, and possible alternatives to known routines gain strength. This moment of change and personal search is born within you since you visualize yourself immersed in that new horizon. However, the results are not always immediate, it is possible experience disorientation during the process.
2. You don’t feel good about yourself
Personal relationships with others are a manifestation of the bond you maintain with yourself. Just as you can spread your inner joy and your sense of humor through your optimistic attitude, you can also project onto others deficiencies that are conditioning you in the first person. In this case, observe the positive function of the emotional information that this type of experience gives you to try to identify some type of conflict pending resolution, some feeling that asks to be heard, some decision that you have silenced or any aspect that is significant.
3. Many superficial relationships
It does not depend on the number of friends but on the quality and intimacy of the ties. If you feel like you don’t fit in anywhere, it may happen that you have many superficial ties but none of the deep and true ones to talk about issues that really matter to you because they affect you as the protagonist. In a relationship of trust there is also room to chat about relaxed anecdotes, however, friends start from an attitude of mutual knowledge. Superficial relationships, on the other hand, do not cover the need for true affection if they are the main support for the protagonist.
4. Lack of common interests
Each person is unique. When you feel like you don’t fit in anywhere, you feel different from others. The effect of comparison arises. Every human being has their own characteristics and peculiarities. Common hobbies and interests unite. When you can’t find people to share your time with, people who have similar concerns as you, you may experience this perception.
I feel like I don’t fit in this society: 6 tips
What can you do if you experience a process of this type? Below, we offer you the best tips to work on the feeling of “I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere“
1. Listen to the feeling but put it in context
It is very important that you pay attention to this emotional information that gives you feedback. Reality goes beyond feeling. Sometimes, the sensations experienced around previous experiences that you have experienced can negatively condition you in the present by generating a predisposition in the linear interpretation of events. To try to prevent this from happening to you, don’t draw general conclusions of particular experiences.
2. Look for new relationship environments
Work, after-work activities, training courses, cultural events, sports spaces, universities, associations… Make a list of those places where you can meet new people. A situation of this type, instead of demotivating you, can encourage you in your search because at some point you can meet people with whom new sensations arise.
3. Patience
This is one of the most important aspects. Personal relationships take time and impatience can cause you to stay on the surface of a situation. On the contrary, as time goes by, you can get to know others better and others can get to know you better. Knowing is the essential basis for building constructive ties. Since, in addition, you can not only feel that you fit in with people who share common interests with you, but also with people different from you who complement you thanks to this difference.
4. Value what makes you special
You are a unique person and you have your own qualities. Appreciate the reality of your essence, cultivate your inner world. This is one of the famous messages from the movie Wonder that can serve as inspiration: “You can’t blend in with the group when you were born to stand out.”
5. Look for company beyond people
The experience of the company can not only come from contact with others, it can also arise from the experience of reading, cinema, theater, healthy walks or the magic of natural places.
6. Psychological help
You can consider the possibility of asking for psychological help if this situation is negatively affecting your self-esteem and your quality of life.
I don’t fit in socially: 3 mistakes you shouldn’t make
These are the three mistakes that should be avoided in this type of situation.
1. Wanting to please others
Seek inner reaffirmation through the search for external approval and no will make you happier because the most influential opinion is the one you have about yourself.
2. Believe that this will never change
Life is dynamic and your social sphere is in constant movement. You can observe your life experience for as long as you can remember to realize it. Just because you are going through this situation now does not mean that in a while you won’t be able to have experiences of a different color.
3. Undervalue yourself
At any moment in your life you are called to be the protagonist of your story. Even when you feel like you don’t fit in, you play a leading role in your destiny.
I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere: what do I do? Now comes the time to reflect and follow the advice that we have offered you in this curriculum.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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