Have you ever felt embarrassed about showing yourself naked in front of your partner? Don’t you know why this happens to you? Do you want to know how to solve this situation? Most people at some point in their life tend to think about what others will think of him/her and the fear of being given a negative evaluation arises, especially in situations as intimate as sexual relations.
In this Psychology Online article we will answer the following question: I am embarrassed when my partner sees me without clothes: why and what to do. We explain why the emotion of shame appears in this situation and what to do to solve it and remove the shame.
Why am I ashamed to make love?
during sexual relations our body is active and undergoes various changes throughout the process, from the moment the excitement begins until the penetration ends. These changes translate into certain noises, facial expressions, smells and/or the appearance of fluids.
So why are we ashamed to get naked in private? The physiological changes mentioned are usually linked to specific situations or thoughts such as afraid of making a mistakethat we expel gas, that they can see some physical defect, that we have menstruation in the case of women, that we have the need to go to the bathroom, etc.
Faced with this accumulation of pressures, shame arises, which, makes us feel vulnerable and it does not allow us to enjoy and concentrate one hundred percent on the sexual relationships we are having. Therefore, this shame does not allow us to enjoy making love. To delve deeper into this topic, we recommend you consult this article by .
Why am I embarrassed when my partner sees me naked?
Shame does not arise from the fact that your partner sees you naked, but because of our own self-demand and the pressure of our thoughts that something may go wrong or not meet the other person’s expectations. Specifically, the shame of being seen naked is part of the disagreement with our body. This is closely linked to our self-esteem. In this article, we tell you.
If you feel ashamed when having sex, the main reason is that you don’t feel comfortable with yourself, usually due to low self-esteem. For this reason, we tend to stop our sexual relations and/or reduce satisfaction during them. In these cases, we recommend you read this article about .
In short, it is a vicious circle that we must break to be able to feel free during our sexual relations and allow us to fully enjoy ourselves. It is important to highlight that our sexual enjoyment is not determined by our size or weight, but by our recurring negative thoughts that limit our attention to pleasure, creating feelings of aversion and anxiety towards our own body. Find out in this article.
How to lose shame with your partner
If you have ever wondered how to lose shame when making love, the most important thing is to work on your self-perception of your body in order to increase your self-esteem. Below, we show you different tips to lose shame with your partner:
- Accept our own body: We should not focus on achieving the desired figure, but rather we should change the perception we have of our body. Learn to love ourselves as we are and focus on our strengths. This task can be carried out through cognitive restructuring, a technique that allows us to modify negative beliefs into more adaptive thoughts that do not harm us.
- Identify the origin: In order to accept ourselves, it is essential that we focus on discovering the real reason that creates the feeling of shame. To do this, we must reflect on which aspect generates the most insecurity with ourselves.
- Share with your partner: It is very important that you have a sincere conversation with your partner so that he or she can understand you and uncomfortable situations do not arise between the two of you. This step is essential to feel that you are not alone and that you have the support of your partner to be able to carry out this process.
- Practice relaxation: Conscious breathing is a very useful tool to be able to focus our attention on the sexual act and the enjoyment of it, and preventing us from thinking about how we look naked.
- Work on self-esteem: Self-esteem not only influences how we see ourselves, but it also affects how we act, feel, and the decisions we make regarding others. Therefore, it is essential to achieve strong self-esteem. To do this, we must dedicate time to ourselves, to our personal care and to carrying out pleasant activities. In this article you will find more information about .
Don’t forget that if the feeling of shame is recurring and is causing you constant discomfort, as well as limiting your daily life, do not hesitate to contact a psychology professional who can accompany you and advise you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, psychologists can help you improve the aspects of your life that prevent you from enjoying it.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Kämmerer, A. (2019). The feeling of shame. Research and Science, 45. Available at: https://barakia.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/88703096_01417_El_sentimiento_de_la_verguenza.pdf
- Scheler, M., & Ferran, Í. V. (2004). About modesty and the feeling of shame. Follow me. Available at: https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/5035388/sobre_el_pudor-with-cover-page-v2.pdf?Expires=1639048410&Signature=aKk8v1y1mzEmh-8w985MfxoUeReGVxyOpqR1v3NHtLaNWEN7fyvUZirNJGsOw MevvGBAYAU7f1XZ6BLtkokAVL2C5WGCuFAxFz02YMj8eUWnWGV-1wYMZRfMofKxLccoqQTd5DBjll2HoPoVF2uW2YbPMJS894Iq4byaznt~atcZYiUrD5ENljQQvET7kpvYrgBdmoxucaYAFJEGvdzgZQu VR3yDBWHTdoIEVok5Ryqvr5JOrfRSgb~YW6o6~pcDiZpO3I4X13dIfUoP5kKJIXRuxcD-J9OvNiK6LtMyb49xKlGZlC57oXWV7ysQZQ4V2TRZ9ETwWvXumtjZWd33QQ__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJ LOHF5GGSLRBV4ZA