There is no friendship without disappointment. That is, it is advisable to observe personal relationships within the framework of realism and not ideality. When you place expectations on others, they are not always met. When a person fails you, it hurts you in a natural way. That fact can be so decisive that it marks the end of that story. However, in many other moments the positive thing is that it is one stop. In Psychology-Online we tell you how to trust someone who has failed you, giving a new opportunity to this bond that is significant in your life. From a positive point of view, this fact can help you strengthen friendship through assertive communication, empathy and understanding.
Trust is one of the most important ingredients in a relationship. With these simple tips you can once again strengthen the foundations of this bond.
Take stock of the friendship
When you are hurt by a disappointment, you run the risk of looking at that relationship with a very limited perspective through the filter of negativity that leads you to become defensive. Try to give yourself a few days to the emotion calms down and you can expand your framework of reflection by observing all the positive things that this relationship has given you through significant moments. In that case, try to balance everything that this relationship has added to your life against that specific fact that has hurt you. This balance is internal. That is, only you can find the answer.
Project the future of this relationship
When you distrust a person for a certain reason, you are at that point where you doubt the possibility of continuing to nurture this relationship in the future. However, it is very important that you visualize your life on the near horizon. Would you like that person to continue being part of your life? Does the idea that he’s gone make you sad? Imagining the future and reflecting on the emotions you experience in this visualization is vitally important to help you relativize what happened by understanding that this fact will not have the same dimension in a few years.
Remember when you have felt forgiven
On this occasion, you have felt disappointed. However, try to have empathy to connect with that moment when you failed another person and felt immense inner joy when you knew that the other person had forgiven you. It is important that cuts with that mint dialogueWhich in many moments gives rise to assumptions that have nothing to do with reality. Instead of making so many interpretations about the other person’s intentions, face that conversation, clarify any doubts and listen to what they have to tell you. It is impossible to restore trust without communication. Otherwise, if there are things left to talk about, they will surface again in the next situation of disappointment that you experience with that person.
Analyze the objective cause of the disappointment
In many cases, an attitude of exaggeration can lead you to magnify details that are not so transcendental. Those who look for friends who will never let them down run the risk of being alone. Simply because human beings are not perfect. For this reason, it is only possible to regain trust by accepting this imperfection. Just as it is possible that now you only focus on that reason for disappointment, at this moment you can also focus on that person’s defects. Therefore, to avoid this limiting view, try to list your friend’s positive qualities and virtues.
In this other article we help you know how to return to .
Don’t put all the weight of this relationship on yourself. If that person wants to regain your trust, they will do something to demonstrate it through their words, actions, and behavior toward you. From your perspective, you can observe those details that, on an emotional level, will help you realize that friend’s commitment to this friendship. Try to be patient to continue creating new memories and experiences with that person.
Aristotle explains that “true happiness consists in doing good.” For this reason, if a friend has failed you, will try to rectify his action. At the same time, if it is important for you to regain trust in that person, you will also feel this desire within yourself.
In this other article we give you some tips so that you can.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.