Have you noticed that there are times when you are more irritable? Many things bother you, you have no motivation to do something, you feel more unfriendly and it seems like you don’t really like anything. Sometimes we get to the point that we ourselves say: “I’m bitter.”
There are many factors that may be influencing why you feel this way. In this Psychology-Online article, we will show you how to stop being bitter. We are going to help you identify if you are bitter, clarify what may be making you feel bitter, and reveal some tips to stop feeling that way and improve your mood.
How to know if you are bitter
There are some signs that could indicate that you are bitter. Let’s see what the behavior of a bitter person is. Check if any of these conditions exist in your life and if you are bitter.
- It bothers you when things turn out well for others, even if you don’t say so.
- You focus too much on negative things or situations that happen to you.
- You notice that you are more pessimistic than usual.
- It’s hard for you to smile.
- You no longer enjoy things that you used to like as much.
- You usually feel guilty for things from the past.
- You blame others or circumstances for the bad things that happen to you.
- You don’t feel like making plans so much with other people. You tend to jump at the slightest attack or if someone has a different point of view than yours. It irritates you that someone thinks differently than you.
- Without realizing it, you constantly criticize yourself.: I’m useless, I’m clumsy, everything goes wrong, etc.
In this article, you will find the keys to remedy this situation.
Why do I feel bitter
Albert Ellis said, and he was very right, that we have a series of rigid and mistaken beliefs that affect the emotions we feel. They are beliefs about ourselves, about others and about the world. One of these beliefs is that things should go the way we want or suit us and that if they don’t happen that way it is terrible and we cannot bear it.
They are beliefs that lead to emotions such as frustration, anxiety, anger and of course, bitterness. Because the reality is that things don’t always go the way we want. And that life is a series of setbacks to face and if we let them overwhelm us we will be sad and bitter.
How to get out of bitterness? Working on these beliefs will be essential to see life from a more beneficial prism for us. It is necessary to accept that things cannot always be the way we want, that problems and unsolicited changes arise in life and that we cannot change others or the environment. Therefore, the only way to be calm and happy is through our attitude, because we can change that.
How can I stop being a bitter person?
If you are wondering how to stop being bitter, below, we will give you different tips that will help you achieve it:
- Accept the things you can’t change: There are issues that do not depend on you and, until you are aware, they will bother you and put you in a bad mood. Some of the things you can’t change have to do with other people’s behavior, but you can always change how they affect you. In the end, almost all problems have the importance that you give them.
- Identify the things or situations that are causing you discomfort: Look carefully at the different areas of your life, such as family, friends, work or leisure, and look for one or more sources of discomfort that could explain your bitterness.
- Focus on enjoying things you like: Maybe you’ve stopped doing things you did when you were younger. Look back and recover some hobby that used to give you a good time. Look for humor in movies or books. Talk to those people who exude joy and good humor, etc. In this article, we tell you.
- Identify the source of your bitterness: If you know where it comes from, change it. There are many things you can do about this. Maybe you can’t make your job feel good, but you can look for another job, change departments, or start something on your own. Or maybe a family member will get you upset, and let them know how you feel about their attitude or understand that everyone is as they are and try to spend less time with that person.
- Stop pleasing others: How to stop being bitter? If you are constantly making plans that you don’t like to please someone, it’s time to stop. Do things that you like and, in any case, sometimes you can do something out of commitment, but don’t let that be the norm.
- Be thankful for what you have every day: We forget that today there are many good things in our lives and, the fact of stopping to recognize what is in yours, helps you become aware and grateful for all the good things you have.
- Choose an activity that involves movement: If you are wondering how I can stop being a bitter person, going for a walk, running, dancing or exercising helps release tension and produces well-being.
- Bibliotherapy: reading books focused on feeling good or pleasant novels can be very helpful.
- Accept life’s setbacks: on the path of your life there were and will be obstacles and potholes. Don’t let that make you lose your joy. Think that they are lessons, that they will happen and that you will enjoy them again if you have a good attitude.
- Find someone to vent to: a friend, a family member, your partner or a psychologist. It’s not good to keep everything to ourselves. Talking about the things that worry you with someone makes you feel supported and understood. Plus, you’ll probably get some good advice to help you.
- Don’t let the past determine you: We all have burdens and some painful memories, but life is now. If you focus on the past, it will influence your present. and you will change your future.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to stop being bitterwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Barragán, A. (2016) How to control any emotion step by step. amazon
- Ellis, A. (2007). Control her anger before she controls you. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional Intelligence. Barcelona: Kairos