Some children show aggressive behavior such as kicking or pushing other children, but these types of attitudes usually disappear when they start primary school because at that time they have already developed the language skills necessary to express themselves with words and have already acquired a level of socialization in which they are aware that physical aggression is wrong. If your child has not learned it, we must identify the cause in order to act. In this Psychology-Online article, we tell you How to act when faced with aggression in children from 6 to 12 years old.
All children at some point have pushed another child, kicked an object when they didn’t get what they wanted, etc. However, a child who has an aggressive problem or disorder will have some of the following characteristics:
- Frequently gets angry intensely
- It is extremely irritable or impulsive and has trouble staying focused
- Gets frustrated easily
- Attacks and physically fights other children or adults
- It is frequently disturbing
- Have a poor performance at school or unable to participate in classroom or other organized activities
- Has trouble acting correctly in social situations and making friends
- Constantly argues or fights with family members and does not accept authority parental
- Inevitably defies authority and refuses to obey the rules
- Frequently denies responsibility for misconduct and blames others
An aggressive child will act that way in more than one area of his life: at school, home, social events, sports competitions…
It could be a learning, behavioral, or emotional disorder that makes it difficult for you to listen, concentrate, or read, hindering your performance in school. Or it could be that the child is going through a bad situation like her parents. Although in most cases children become aggressive because they have been witnesses to the aggression of otherssome causes of aggressive behavior may be:
- Family difficulties. Fights, problems or changes in a child’s home cause stress, causing them to react aggressively, especially if they have previously seen someone in their family behave like this.
- Learning disorder. If your child has a problem that makes it difficult for him to read, write or understand language, he may vent his frustration through aggression.
- Neurological problems. Sometimes aggressiveness is due to some neurological involvement.
- . Some children with behavioral disorders They also present aggressive behaviors or oppositional defiant disorder.
- Emotional trauma. Domestic violence or sexual abuse can lead to intense anxiety, fear, and depression. There are children who find in aggression a way to release that anxiety.
- Exposure to violent television shows or movies. Many experts believe that witnessing violence on screen It can temporarily cause aggression in children.
To know how to act against aggression in children from 6 to 12 years old, the first thing is don’t get aggressive. Hitting, yelling, or throwing objects when your child pushes you to the limit will not solve the problem. It will simply give you an example of how to act aggressively. Show him that you can control your temper and you will help him learn that he can control his.
You should try to teach your child to recognize and understand your emotions and guide you toward acceptable ways of showing anger, fear, and disappointment. Some tips that can help you are:
Respond immediately to aggressive behavior
Don’t wait until your child ends up hitting his brother for the second time, for example, to tell him that enough is enough. Your child should know instantly when he has done something wrong. You can try “time-ins”: stop what you are doing and ask your child to sit down and be quiet. Hug or touch him in a loving way, if your child allows you. After a few minutes of calm, he briefly talks about what happened. Then he simply resumes your activities. (This technique can be used instead of sending him to his room for a few minutes: time-outs).
try to calm down
Once your child has calmed down it is good to talk about what happened, but before he forgets about the episode, ideally a couple of hours later. Try to calm down and gently review the circumstances that led to the aggressive behavior. Ask him to explain what triggered it. He emphasizes that it is perfectly normal to get angry, but that it is not okay to show it that way: by hitting, kicking or biting. Suggest better ways to respond, such as verbally expressing his emotion or moving away from the situation or person so he has time to calm down and think about what to do.
Consistent discipline
As much as possible, you should respond to each aggressive episode in the same way. Over time, your consistent response to these types of behaviors will establish a pattern that your child will recognize. Eventually, your child will internalize that pattern and anticipate the consequences before acting, this is the first step in regulating her own behavior.
Promotes self-control
Instead of giving your child attention just for being bad, try to make him see the times when he is good. Emphasize that self-control and conflict resolution are skills he will need to be successful and loved whether in education or work. If your child has a hard time moving forward on this topic, you can reward him every time he manages to control his temper. It can be as simple as having some extra time with you. The important thing is that the reinforcement is something he wants.
Make him responsible
If your child damages someone’s property, they should know that it must be corrected. It is important that the child understands that this is not a punishment but the natural consequence of an inappropriate act towards another person.
Educate him not to act aggressively
Show him that reacting aggressively is inappropriate because it hurts or affects other people. It is good to do exercises of supposed situations to show how each person’s actions affect other people and develop empathy. For this advice, we recommend the following article, in it you will find .