It is already difficult to put an end to a relationship, but if you also have common children, things get complicated, because in that case your decisions affect someone other than yourself. However, it is not a good option to continue with an unsuccessful relationship because of having children, since in the long run it can harm them more than benefit them. A conflictive and loveless environment between parents can mark the childhood and adolescence of children. If things don’t work together, separation is the best option. But how do you separate when you have children and not have it affect them? How to separate with small children? What is a separation like without being married and having children? Is it possible to separate on good terms? How to separate amicably with children?
In this Psychology-Online article we explain how to separate with children: steps, recommendations and solutions to problems that may arise.
We have the strange idea that there is only one type of family that is good for children. And they have instilled in us that the best thing for children is for their parents to be together and nothing more. But what if they are not happy? What if they argue often? What if they got married under pressure from their families?
Thinking that children will be better off with their parents together is a mistake. If we do so, we will be teaching them to conform to what is considered socially correct, to live in a way that pleases others and not themselves. Besides, A home with parents who feel obligated to be a couple is far from being a happy home..
Is it good to separate when you have children? Of course, it would be ideal for the parents of the infants to get along, love and respect each other, but when that does not happen, It is preferable that they rebuild their lives and be happy.
Children are quite adaptable to new circumstances. And, although it may be difficult at first, separation when things are not going well and seeing each of their parents happy is less harmful to them than forced coexistence.
Therefore, Don’t be afraid to separate if that’s what you really want., because in the long term, deciding to separate when necessary is best for you and your children. Needless to say if there is any type of abuse. Here we talk about .
It is normal that you feel some fear of separating because of your children, because it is a very important change in your lives. And it is normal that you want to separate but you don’t dare or you don’t know where to start. Below we explain the steps you should take and different tips to separate amicably with children.
Once you have made the decision to separate with children and you want to do it amicably, it is important that you know some tips that will help you achieve it. Separating with small children has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, they adapt to the situation sooner, but on the other hand, perhaps, due to their age, they do not understand that their parents no longer want to be together.
The point is that the separation itself does not have to cause trauma if it is done well. A conflictive home or one in which parents do not show any love or respect is always much worse. How to separate when there are children? Follow these recommendations:
- When separating with young children, it is important to talk to them about the separation with a language adapted to their age. Making it clear that they are not to blame for that decision.
- Listen to your doubts and resolve them When they request it, it will provide them with more security.
- Pay attention to your needs affective and emotional at all times.
- Explain to them that you are still a familybecause there are many, and they will not lose contact with any of their fathers or mothers.
- Talk to respect for the other parent always.
- Allow to the little boy or girl communicates with your other parent whenever you want.
- Make decisions based on priority the best for the sons or daughters (schedules, holidays, celebrations, housing…).
- Inform your surroundings of the new situation to be able to observe the changes that may occur both at school and in their family and social relationships.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.