Nobody said relationships were easy and marriages even less so. A series of expectations are generated around marriage that often hardly fit reality. We relate, we fall in love, we make plans, we make mistakes, we change and we grow as people. But these changes (or lack thereof) can sometimes jeopardize that beloved relationship we have. If this is your situation, continue reading this Psychology-Online article to discover some tips on how to save your marriage.
How to save my marriage: 5 tips
How to save a broken marriage? To address problems with your partner and try to find a solution, we propose 5 essential aspects:
- Analyze your marriage. Discover what is wrong, why is it going wrong? What is the reason or reasons? And once you have found the reasons, think, do they have a solution? What can each of you do to improve your marriage? And above all, are you willing to make these changes?
- Increase communication (both in quantity and quality). Good communication is basic for any type of relationship, and this not only consists of expressing your feelings and needs assertively, but also actively listening to the other person, with the desire to understand and help you. Here you will find more information about .
- Get out of the routine. And from your house. Monotony is like a silent virus that infects the relationship without you realizing it. It is advisable to combat it from time to time with a getaway, trip, excursion… In addition, spending that time together outside of your usual routine will help you strengthen the bond between you. In the following article you can see.
- Fuel the passion. But don’t go to a hotel… but rather let them tell you to go to a hotel! Because here it is also about breaking the routine.
- Couple therapy. Going to a specialist in time may be the best solution, since they will guide you in your particular case and will be able to advise you on what is best for you. It can teach you many strategies, from problem-solving methods to ways to fuel passion and improve sexual relationships.
How to save my marriage if he doesn’t want it or she doesn’t want it
The most common reason for marriage breakups is lack of communication or understanding, which is why tip number 2 in the previous section is so important and should not be underestimated. If you notice that something is not working in your relationship and the other member of the couple is passive, with no intention of trying to fix it: you take the initiative.
If you are wondering how to save a marriage in crisis, first, use tips 1 and 2: communicate with your partner to find out how she perceives your relationship, what she thinks is wrong, what should change, etc. Then, start really making those changes. If after a while he continues with the passive attitude of the beginning, think carefully about whether you really want to continue with the relationship, because in the end a marriage is a matter of two and both partners should work and feel comfortable. If you just try to save the marriage, it probably won’t be enough.
Furthermore, although at first a breakup seems like the end of the world, it also comes with some positive things such as an opportunity for personal growth and a new, more rewarding lifestyle. In the following article you will find.
take a time apart It can also be an option if the person who wants to fix things feels stuck. Although a priori it may seem like taking a step in the opposite direction to your goal, time apart can help you realize and value the relationship you had, in addition to having a space to reflect on the relationship and what you really want.
How to save my marriage after infidelity
It is estimated that extramarital sex in Spain is practiced 1 in 3 men and one in 4 women, more frequently from the fifth year of marriage. Motivations can be very diverse: for a change (boredom or breaking routine), as a way of expressing hostility or retaliation towards the spouse, dissatisfaction with married life, as a way of validating the lack of affection towards the other person, to reinforce self-esteem, etc.
Statistics also indicate that 62% of men would forgive infidelity compared to 51% of women. This tells us that an affair does not have to be something unforgivable and irremediably destructive of your relationship, but it will obviously be affected by it.
To save a marriage after infidelity, it is essential to be very honest with yourself and with the other person, whether you are the one who has deceived, or the one who has been deceived. In case you are the unfaithful person, it is important that you think carefully what led you to commit the deception From there, make a deep reflection on your needs, your marriage, etc.
If you are the one who has been cheated on, you should listen to what your partner has to tell you and ask them what you need, as well as think about whether you really want to continue with them and how to do it from now on. From there, listen to each other, put yourself in each other’s shoes, try to understand each other, and negotiate how you want to save your marriage. The article can help you know how to deal with this situation.
How to save my marriage after a separation
Many times separations are the prelude to divorces, but it does not always have to be that way. The average duration of marriages in Spain is around 17 years and marriage breakups are more frequent in second marriages.
After a separation, if both members of the couple are willing to reconcile and work to make the marriage go ahead, it is very likely that you have reflected on yourself and your relationship. It is also possible that you have realized how much and how you want to be with the other person, and, in most cases, this implies that you must make certain changes in the dynamics of the marriage. Speak these points well and above all take things calmly, because Rome was not built in two days and a good relationship requires solid foundations on which to stand.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Riso, W. (2003). To love or depend? How to overcome emotional attachment and make love a full and healthy experience. Norma Publishing.
- Riso, W. (2007). The limits of love. RBA Collectibles.