How to overcome the FEAR of BEING ALONE or autophobia – 6 techniques!

We are currently living in a time in which there seems to be an obligation and pressure to keep ourselves busy at every moment and constantly look for distractions. Likewise, we are witnessing the digital age; in which much of the company or social reward is obtained through contact via electronic devices. However, despite this constant connection, a feeling of isolation and fear of loneliness emerges in many people, which in extreme cases can become a phobia. If you want to know more about this fear, continue reading this Psychology-Online article: Autophobia: the fear of being alone.

Fear of being alone

Humans we are social beings By definition, that is, we feel the need to belong to a group and relate to other people. This gregariousness implies that throughout our lives we are in the company of different people or groups such as family, peers, partners, co-workers, etc. That is why there may sometimes be a certain fear to loneliness.

Fear is a natural and adaptive response of our body whose function is the protection and survival of the person in the face of danger. Here you will find more information about . The fear of loneliness can manifest itself in various areas; he fear of not finding or being without a partner affective sex, fear of not fitting in with a group of peers or friends, distrust of the distance from people with whom we have a strong bond, fear of being alone at hometo face certain situations in the absence of company, etc.

However, despite enjoying the company of other people, most people also feel the need to experience physical loneliness from time to time, because it facilitates self-esteem, as well as reinforces our self-esteem, independence and autonomy as individual, as well as social, beings. On these occasions, being alone is not a problem, since we have the basic feeling and security of having a social and support network, even if it is not physically present at those times.

Despite this, some people develop a excessive dependence on constant social supportso isolation generates very intense discomfort that cannot be managed, encouraging the avoidance of these feelings and emotions that cause suffering. Autophobia is what the fear of being alone is called..

Autophobia: definition

The autophobia It is considered within the spectrum of anxiety disorders and is classified as situational specific phobia. As for what autophobia is, this It is defined as a person’s excessive and irrational fear of being physically alone. This loneliness generates beliefs and feelings of being rejected or ignored, of not being loved or of being vulnerable to suffering some catastrophe or danger unexpectedly. In autophobia the person lacks a feeling of security and confidence towards themselves, which generates a need for constant company. It is believed that this phobia may arise or be associated with alterations or disorders of both mood and anxiety.

Autophobia: meaning

Regarding what autophobia means, it is literally the fear of oneself. This word derives from Greek, so cars means same or proper, and phobos refers to fear. Autophobia is also called monophobia, where monkeys It’s just, either isolophobia or eremophobia. Although the term autophobia seems to refer to the fear of one’s own person, it actually refers to the fear of being aloneand therefore only with oneself.

Autophobia: symptoms

Autophobia is characterized by the presence of the following symptoms:

  • Intense and disproportionate fear faced with the idea of ​​loneliness or the real situation of it. There is no real danger or threat that explains this emotion.
  • This fear is irrational and illogicaland in most cases the person himself is aware of it.
  • The fear experienced cannot be voluntarily controlled by the subject, which can cause a loss of self-esteem and a feeling of self-efficacy, as well as frustration and guilt.
  • Loneliness avoidance behaviors in advance, or escape from them once the person is exposed to the absence of company.
  • Physical symptoms anxiety such as palpitations, sweating, tachycardia, dizziness, anguish at the experience of being alone, or simply thinking about it.
  • Ruminative and catastrophic thoughts of events that can occur if the person is left alone, so there is a permanent feeling of danger or threat. In autophobia there is the belief that something harmful can happen when the person is not accompanied, and therefore it would be impossible for them to receive help.
  • Emotional dependence which is manifested through the constant need for a person to be by their side to feel protection. Here you will find the.
  • People with autophobia need the presence of another person, so sometimes they can even be accompanied by people with whom they barely have a bond or with whom there is no good relationship. This implies that the person is especially vulnerable, since You can tolerate any type of treatment or toxic relationships as long as you are not alone..
  • Affectation especially in the social area of ​​the person with autophobia, since people end up wasting away due to excessive dependence and constant demand for company. In the workplace there may also be a deterioration in terms of poor performance.
  • Daily functioning is often invalidated due to not being able to perform many activities independently.
  • In extreme cases, the person may fake illnesses in front of their close circle to avoid loneliness at all costs.

Autophobia: causes

The etiology or underlying factors development of autophobia They are diverse and not mutually exclusive:

  • Traumatic events: Experiencing situations of abandonment, both physical and emotional, since childhood can be a trigger for autophobia. Likewise, having suffered bullying and loneliness in adolescence, a life stage in which the peer group and the feeling of belonging to the group acquires great importance, could also activate this trauma in deprivation of company. Therefore, being alone encourages the person to reconnect with their past experiences that have not yet been overcome and feel high levels of anxiety.
  • Need for external acceptance: and security can generate a need for validation from external agents, which could lead to rejection and fear of loneliness.
  • Avoidance of one’s own person: Sometimes behind autophobia there is a fear of facing one’s own thoughts and emotions, so the company of other people would constitute a mechanism to distract attention towards oneself.
  • Pressure for socialization: Currently there is a culture that generates a certain obligation regarding being constantly surrounded by people, which is transmitted as an image of success and a goal to achieve.
  • Other pathologies: Other disorders, such as , could explain the appearance of this phobia of loneliness.

Autophobia: treatment

How to overcome the fear of being alone? Regarding the intervention on how to cure autophobia, the following is recommended: psychological therapybecause it is the most effective in terms of treatment.

1. Psychoeducation

The first step in addressing autophobia is to inform the person about the phobias, their symptoms, and their functioning and maintenance mechanisms.

2. Exposure technique

As for how to overcome autophobia, or any other phobia, the exposure technique is central. Together with the professional, a hierarchy of fears is developed of the situations that produce the most fear and anxiety, from lowest to highest. Based on this range of fears, the person is exposed gradually and with support from the specialist in feared situations. Through this technique, greater habituation to the phobic stimulus is generated, and a progressive decrease in anxious symptoms and negative anticipatory thoughts. The exposure can be carried out directly live or previously using the visualization technique, with which the person imagines exposing himself to the feared situations.

3. Relaxation and breathing

At the same time, breathing and breathing training is carried out so that the person is equipped with coping tools when exposed to their fears, increasing their security and feeling of self-efficacy. Likewise, at first you can use music or the noise of television as a coping strategy when facing a situation of loneliness, thus reducing the levels of perceived isolation.

4. Cognitive restructuring

It is also necessary to address the issues in the work plan on how to overcome the fear of being alone. In this part, questioning of thoughts is used, the true fear that is hidden behind these thoughts is analyzed, taking them to the extreme, or evidence is sought for and against the beliefs that the person has with the aim of making the processes of reflection more flexible. thought.

5. Behavioral activation

Once the person’s anxiety due to situations of loneliness begins to decrease, it is advisable to explore the person’s tastes and interests to plan a series of activities and habits to carry out autonomously that you find rewarding. In this way, it is more likely that loneliness will no longer be associated with negative events.

6. Resourcing

Other aspects that need to be worked on to consolidate and maintain improvement in this phobia are self-esteem, social skills, self-efficacy and problem solving. In this way, the person will obtain the tools and skills necessary to effectively cope with a variety of life situations.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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Bibliography

  • Aleixandre, NL (2007). Emotional dependence. Characteristics and treatment, Jorge Castelló Blasco. Psychological information(89), 90.
  • American Psychiatric Association. (2014). DSM-5. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Madrid: Editorial Médica Panamericana, SA
  • Horse, VE (Ed.). (2008). Manual for the cognitive-behavioral treatment of psychological disorders (Vol. 2). Twenty-first century of Spain.
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