The problem of jealousy between brothers is very habitual. It is a normal feeling that should not cause concern unless it alters the child’s emotional state. As long as insecurities, envy and/or aggressive behavior are not established, we can consider it an evolutionary problem.
However, there are studies that show that when this problem worsens it can cause anxiety, depression and low self-esteem problems in people who have suffered from them.
The establishment of rules of coexistence and control of the situation by parents are measures that will help overcome jealousy between siblings.
What is the behavior of a jealous child like?
We must keep in mind that at the base of a jealousy problem there is always fear. In this case the child’s fear of losing his parents’ affection.
Usually, it is the older brother who usually suffers from “Dethroned Prince Syndrome”, but jealousy of younger brothers towards their older ones can also occur.
Some behaviors that may appear When there is jealousy between siblings:
- Aggressiveness
- Irritability
- Retreat
- Sadness
- Unsafety
- Regressive behaviors (for example, wetting the bed)
- Night terrors that demand the presence of parents
- Tantrums
- Disobedient behaviors
- Somatization, physical discomfort
What to do to prevent this problem?
It is essential to prepare the child for the arrival of the new member of the family, try to make him/her feel as safe as possible, enhance his/her self-esteem, and involve him/her in the preparations…
When the little brother/sister is born, it is necessary to pay attention and dedicate time to the eldest. Some guidelines that may help are the following:
- Accompany the arrival of the new brother with a gift “from him.”
- Promotes the desire to participate in the care of your little brother/sister
- Dedicate time to him, alone, give him your exclusive attention.
- Strengthens your self-esteem and security.
- Remind him how you took care of him when he was little.
- It is advisable that the first time you see the new arrival is in a crib, not in the arms of his parents.
Guidelines to avoid jealousy between siblings
If jealousy has already broken out, here are 15 tips to avoid it:
- Help him learn to identify his emotions and manage them.
- Establish clear rules, routines and limits, which you can make more flexible when you consider it.
- Try to facilitate the coexistence and privacy of each one.
- Always avoid comparisons between siblings.
- Praise appropriate behaviors.
- Encourage cooperation between siblings
- Give everyone their own place and time.
- Strengthen shared time.
- If differential treatment is provided, explain the reasons.
- Try not to make the elderly responsible for caring.
- Be careful not to let him understand that he is in the background (for attention to the little one, such as dressing him, feeding him…). It is better to say “I’ll be with you right away” than “I can’t now because I’m giving food to your brother.”),
- Avoid getting involved in their conflicts, unless physical or verbal aggression arises.
- Teach them to resolve conflicts peacefully and assertively.
- Act quickly if inappropriate behavior appears.
- If there is jealousy, you should not scold the child, do not make him feel guilty.
We hope that these tips for overcome jealousy between siblings have been of help to you.
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